Welcome to Paradise // Billie Joe Armstrong // #Wattys2017

21 guns

I tiptoe into the bar, a small backpack lightly dangling over my shoulders. The sound of the creaking floorboard underneath my feet echoes throughout the room, giving me the idea that every step I take is like a sledgehammer smashing against a brick wall.

Maybe even the brick wall that I'm so desperate to tear down.

I glance at Billie, who is sleeping peacefully on the matrass pushed against the wall. The steadiness of his breathing hypnotizes me for a short moment and I find my eyes trailing the tattoo's that cover his strong muscular arms. The idea of having to leave him makes a knot form in the pit of my stomach, but over the past few hours I've come to the conclusion that the only thing standing between him finding his wife is me.

A decision like the one he'd have to make would break him. It almost happened once, and I'm not letting it happen twice.

The silence finally washes back over the room as I stand still in front of the window that's leading me onto the dumpster in the alley. I carefully open the lock, holding my breath as I listen for the walker that nearly killed me less than a day ago.

I'm relieved to hear no sounds coming from outside, so I lift myself up, the both of my knees resting on the window frame. I throw my backpack down and hear a loud thud as it hits the dumpster beneath me. I anxiously hold my breath, praying yesterday's walker isn't anywhere near.

All of a sudden I hear a noise that makes my entire body freeze. I squint my eyes shut as I let out a slight groan. The creaking of the floorboard behind me comes to an end and I slowly turn my head around, taking in what's in front of me with pity in my eyes.

"What the fuck Aileen?" Billie blurts out, disbelief echoing in his voice. His emerald green eyes have gotten a shade darker and his arms are loosely hanging next to his body.

"Billie I-" I try to argue him, but find myself with nothing to say that could make up for what I'm about to do. "I have to go".

"You have to go? To where? The fucking supermarket?" he speaks up, making me have to hold back a little chuckle.

"I've been thinking about it and..." I sigh "I can't be around you. I'm only withholding you from finding your wife. I don't want that, I don't want to be that kind of person" I say as I jump off the window frame back into the bar.

"Are you crazy? You're the only one that can help me find my wife, without you I'd be nowhere" Billie says, leaving me with no words. I stare at him undecidedly until he speaks again.

"Why can't you see that I need you?" he whispers, coming closer to me. I take a few steps back until my back hits the wall, Billie's body now briefly pressed against mine. My breath hitches as his lips touch mine lightly, his hands resting on my thighs.

I find myself getting lost in the sparkling green of his eyes, that are staring into mine intensely. "I was an ass as usual. Please forgive me" he speaks quietly, pressing a soft kiss on my lips. "I'm ready to go to the library, please stay with me".

The almost desperate anticipation in his eyes leaves me with no option to nod and smile, to which Billie smiles back before kissing me a bit more intense. As much as I enjoy the feeling of his pink lips pressed against mine, I can't smother the growing hesitation that's taking over my system.

Billie senses it and pulls back reluctantly, looking at me with concern in his eyes. "What's wrong?" he asks carefully. I hesitate a little before giving an answer, not sure how Billie will respond to what I have to say. And I'm not sure about what I want him to say either.

"How can you just kiss me and do all of this to me while your wife is out there somewhere and you still love her and..." I ramble on, getting lost in my sentence. "I just don't understand it".

Billie looks at me dumbfounded for a moment. He then grabs my hand and interlocks his fingers with mine, letting out an almost inaudible sigh. "Aileen, there are many ways of showing your affection and your gratitude to someone. Me kissing you doesn't mean I don't love my wife".

But does it mean you love me?

The question is burning on my tongue, but I ban it to the back of my mouth. I don't want him to have to answer a question so big, a question that I already know the answer to.

"We can't be together, but I promise you I'll never let you out of my sight. From now on you're under my protection" he adds, getting my attention again. I smile back and fold my arms tightly around his neck, burying my head in his shoulder. Billie returns the action and for a while, we stand together against the wall of the moldy old bar, our bodies molded into one. I feel his fingers drawing figure-eight's on my back, causing goosebumps to break out almost everywhere he touches.

After a few minutes, I pull back reluctantly. He looks into my eyes and softly squeezes my cheeks, making me giggle a bit.

"You ready to go?" I ask.

"Before we go, one more thing" Billie says, walking over to his matrass and fumbling in the backpack standing next to it. I glance curiously over at him, trying to see what exactly he's searching for. Then he pulls out a white, small roll. As walks back over to me I realize the object he's holding is the roll of bandage from the school nursery.

"Oh god, the infamous roll" I laugh.

"Think you can manage to do it a bit better this time?" he asks, chuckling a bit. I nod yes and Billie lifts up his shirt, making his stomach and tattoos appear. Drooling, I take in what's in front of me.

"Devilishly handsome, I know" Billie jokes. I laugh at this as I carefully remove the bandage we left on for way too long.

"Devilishly alright".

A/N: That took waaay too long again, I'm so sorry. I started pre-university school in september and I've been so stressed out lately, causing me to have a little bit of a breakdown yesterday. BUT, no worries. I'll keep writing as much as I can.

I also want to genuinly thank everybody that reads my story -including the silent readers, no judging- I always love to read the comments and it makes me so insanely happy whenever someone votes on my story.

So, in conclusion; vote, comment, do whatever you want with this.

xx.