Welcome to Paradise // Billie Joe Armstrong // #Wattys2017

Brutal Love

"So she just took her fucking shit and she left and then I was all like okay, good riddance babe and I closed the door and that's when I got the idea to write the song" Billie rambles on about a girl he once dated for a while before Adrienne.

It's past midnight and we're still sitting against the wall, drinking the beer. The crate in front of us is slowly running empty as the evening becomes night. Billie and I are wasted, to say the least. I still think alcohol taste like shit, but god is it good to have something to take all the trouble away.

I let more of the liquid painkiller slip past my lips as I zone out a little, staring at the wall in front of me. I'm too numb to pay attention to the story Billie is telling me, so I just rest my head against the wall as he continues his rant.

"And what about the losers you've dated?" Billie chuckles, amused by his choice of words. I snap out of my spaced state of mind as I repeat the words in my head. The losers I've dated? I haven't dated anyone ever actually. Well, I have mentally, but I don't really think that counts.

"I've never dated anyone" I say, taking another sip from the horribly tasting beer. Billie cocks an eyebrow at me in disbelief. "You're shitting me? A girl this beautiful has never had a boyfriend before?"

A girl this beautiful

I repeat the sentence in my head over and over again, word by word. A smile slowly creeps onto my face.

"Never"

"Ever"

It sounds rather corny if you think about it. A seventeen-year old that has never been loved before, you can easily count that as fanfiction cliché no.1.

Unfortunately, it's the truth and I don't think there's anyone else to blame but me.

"How come? You're just not into it or...?" Billie asks, throwing his empty beer bottle further down the hallway.

I laugh. If only he has any clue of how much I'm into it.

"That's not the problem, believe me." I hesitate a little, thinking on how to explain my 'situation' to Billie. "Love to me is like a mirage; every time I think I get close to it, it vanishes in thin air. As if it was never there. Probably because it never was, and it's one of the most frustrating things ever."

Tears gather in my eyes and are threatening to spill. If there's one thing I learned in my seventeen years of existence is that you should never hide your feelings from anyone. Nevertheless, it's a mistake I still make every day. But then again, what can you expect from someone with a complex and un-understandable mind like mine?

"A mirage" Billie slowly repeats, a smile appearing on his face. "That's a beautiful metaphor".

"It's the only way I can explain it" I sadly smile. "Beautiful, maybe. But true... definitely".

"Oh, c'mere" he gestures, while wrapping and arm around me. I burry my head in his chest as I quietly start to sob. I hate crying in front of people, it makes me feel so weak. This is exactly the reason I never wanted to drink alcohol in the first place; I can't stand the idea of losing control over my body, yet it's happening right now.

Damn manipulative rock-star.

"I feel so sorry for all the losers that never appraised your worth." Billie whispers, while running his fingers through my hair. After a few minutes of softly swaying me back and forth in his arms, he pulls my body off his and looks me in my eyes.

"Come, I have an idea" he smiles at me. I get up from where I'm sitting, but I have lost all my balance. Billie catches my fall and I clutch onto him tightly. "You're drunk" he chuckles as he puts me back on my feet.

"Am not" I correct, giggling sheepishly. My cheeks are still wet with tears, but my eyes are filled with joy. I never thought meeting my biggest idol was going to be this much of a rollercoaster ride.

All of a sudden, Billie grabs me by my waist and, in a swift movement, throws my body on his shoulder. "Since you're clearly not capable of moving by yourself" he says as he starts walking up the stairs. The floorboard underneath his feet squeaks a little and I subconsciously hope no one- erm... nothing hears us, but my mind is too far gone to fully think about it

Once we reach the first floor, Billie puts me on the ground again and opens the door in front of us a little. He turns his head through the chink and carefully peers inside.

"Just checking" he smiles back at me, before fully opening the door. I stare in awe at the content of the room, that's filled with guitars, a drum set and a shit ton of other musical instruments. Billie leads me inside and I sit down on the carpet in the middle of the room, surrounded by cables and wires going everywhere and nowhere at the same time.

"Shit, this is incredible!" I cry out, captivated by the beauty of the room.

"Yeah I thought you'd like it" Billie says as he grabs an acoustic guitar from the wall. He takes place next to me and starts strumming it. I tiredly rub my eyes and look around me one more time, before resting my head on Billie's shoulder.

A G-major chord fills up the silence of the room and Billie starts singing.

"Turn out the lights, close your eyes. Turn up the silence, the heartache of your life..."

I slowly slip into a sleepy state, as Billie continues the song. Who could ever guess it's this good to lose control over your body?

A/N:  Erghh so this is kind of a sucky and lame chapter, but lemme know what you think of it. Not the best I've done, but oh well.

Love, Nina