Alone on the water

CHAPTER ELEVEN

*chapter 11*

After that fight everything went back to normal. Well not completely.

The problem was Harry was still bullying Niall, harry obviously wanted me back but Niall wouldn’t let him, I wouldn’t go back to him anyways.

Niall and I went back to being best friends, nothing more, nothing less. Its better this way I thought. My heart won’t get broken and our friend ship wouldn’t be ruined. As long as Niall was in my life I was happy.

I made a deal with Niall that he can cut once a week, the same deal he made with me. The amount of scars on his arms and legs multiplied in numbers when we had a break from being friends. It made me sick to my stomach, I didn’t tell Niall I cut though, it would make him even more depressed.

Even though Niall's cutting went down and we were friends again his depression seemed to get worse. I would tell him all his favorite jokes and he wouldn’t even crack a smile. When we watched his favorite movies he got bored and turned it off before it was even halfway through, when I brought him some of his favorite foods he didn’t even eat it. I was getting really worried about him. So one day I decided to take matters into my own hands.

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There Harry was, all I have to do is go up to him, ugh but he's with all his friends maybe I should wait… no, now.

I said to myself as I walked over to Harry at school. I tapped his shoulder and he turned around, he smiled, probably thinking I was going to take him back.

“Harry can I talk to you?” I asked, his friends all looking at me.

“Yeah, sure” he nodded.

I took him around the corner and he leaned up against the wall.

“Here to take me back I suppose?” he smiles big at me.

“Never, I’m not taking you back now or any time in the future”

“Uh huh sure, now what do you want? I' m kind of busy”

“Oh what? Talking about all the pussy you'll never get?”

“Well I got yours, which should count for something”

I rolled my eyes and pointed a finger at his chest, making him go further against the wall.

“Listen, leave Niall alone. I thought I made this clear to you, I don’t want you messing with my friends, or me for that matter!”

“Mimi, really? It’s a free country isn’t it?” he laughs a little and pushes my hand down, “Now I already slapped you once, don’t make me do it again” he tries to walk away but I pull him back.

“I don’t think you get it. Stop. Messing. With. My. Friends.” I say through gritted teeth.

“Mimi I already did! Honestly, if someone tells me not to do something I won’t do it, especially if you tell me” he puts his hands on my hips but I take them off.

“Then why is Niall still depressed and cutting himself?”

“I have no idea, why don’t you go ask him instead of interrogating me. I’ve got to go Mimi, call me if you want to have some fun” he walks away but turns around and does the 'Call me' sign. I roll my eyes and walk away.

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Tonight was movie night with my family, the one night I hated more than anything. Taylor picked out the movies, Love Actually and some movie called Juno about a girl who gets pregnant at 16 or something. I knew that both of these movies would be awkward to watch in front of my parents but it was Taylor's turn to pick the movies and that’s what she picked.

Louis was coming over for dinner also. When he walked in I didn’t even recognize him, he looked so much more mature and older since the last time I saw him. He and Taylor hugged first; he picked her up and kissed her. Then he hugged my mom soft, shook my dad’s hand and then it was my turn. He wrapped his arms around me and rubbed my back, but kept moving his hands down my back, all the way to the top of my butt when I pushed him off of me.

We walked into the dining room and took our seats. Taylor, Louis, and I on one side of the table and my parents on the other side. My parents started asking Louis how college was and stuff, they all talked while I texted Niall, hiding my phone under the table.

“And Mimi has been going out for runs now” my mom says.

My head flicks up, “What?”

“Wow really?” Louis looks at me.

I wanted to laugh at my mom, I was obviously lying about the running thing, whenever I was crying after I cut myself I used that excuse and I'd always get in trouble for not wearing a winter jacket.

“That’s right; I guess she’s getting self-conscious about her weight”

I look at my mom like what the fuck?

“What are you even-“ I try to say but Louis cuts me off.

“I'm not sure why, I think every women is perfect no matter how big or small they are. Especially being Taylor's sister Mimi, you're perfect the way you are” he puts his hand on my thigh and squeezes it.

I look over at Taylor and she looks at me, at least she knew I wasn’t comfortable with this. I got up fast and bumped my leg into the table.

“Uh… I’m going to… go out for another run, you can start the movies without me” I say as I run out of the house.

I take my phone and call Niall.

“Hello?” he answers.

“Meet me at the stop sign?” I ask.

“Yeah, on my way” he hangs up and I walk down to the stop sign.

Surprisingly he got here in a few minutes; he’s usually always a half hour late. When he sees I’m just in a sweatshirt he offers me his jacket.

“Here Mimi, you'll get cold”

“No Niall, I’m fine. Just come with me.”

I take him down the streets, through downtown Chicago, till we get to Lake Michigan. I sit on the same bench that we sat a few months ago, facing the water. Niall sat next to me and rubbed his arms, he was getting cold.

“Niall I just need to ask you something, something I really don’t want to”

“Alright, what is it?”

“If Harry isn’t bothering you anymore then why are you still cutting?”

Niall looks down at his hands and he doesn’t say anything for a few minutes. Then finally he talks.

“I hate myself” he says quietly, “I look at myself and-and I see someone I don’t want to see, I don’t like what I see. I’m ugly, boring and stupid, there’s no reason for me to be here. I hate myself” he says again, and then he starts to cry. I wrap my arms around him and put his head on my shoulder, I push his hair to the side.

“Niall don’t say that, you are perfect in every way, you're funny, adorable, sweet, caring, everything a girl wants. Honestly you're one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met”

Niall looks up at me, his eyes red. “Really?” he sniffles.

“Really” I kiss his cheek, “Now I want you to stop hurting yourself, I love you”

Niall half smiles and wipes his face, “I love you too Mimi”

-end of chapter