Alone on the water

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

*Chapter 18*

I didn’t even have to read the text again to know what was happening.

I grabbed my jacket off the ground and run out of my room. I ran to the front door, my eyes were welling up with tears, I couldn’t really see straight; I struggled with the door lock when my parents noticed me.

“Mimi, what’s wrong?” My mom asks from the couch.

I didn’t answer her; I just focused on the lock. When the door was open I bolted out of the house, not worrying about closing the door behind me.

I ran to the corner and down the street to Niall's. I took my phone out and dialed his number.

It rang.

And rang.

And rang even longer.

It went to voice mail and that’s when I started sobbing.

I called again and the same thing happened. I was almost at his house but I didn’t know if I was going to make it in time, I prayed to god that I would make it. I called for the last time, because after that call I would be at his house.

When it went to voicemail I breathed in slowly.

“Niall, you answer this god damn phone right now. You better not even try killing yourself, you fucking stop it. You don’t play games like this, you fucking stop. I can’t live without you” I started sobbing even more. “I love you so much, please, please just stop this”

I hung up and wound up at Niall's house.

I ran inside, the door unlocked, which I hoped was right.

It was quiet but I heard him crying. I ran up stairs to the hallway bathroom and that’s where he was. I tried turning the knob but it wouldn’t budge. I pounded on the door trying to get him to answer.

“Niall you open this fucking door right now!” I screamed.

“Go away Mimi! I don’t want you to find me dead” Niall sniffled.

“Stop it Niall” I leaned my body against the door, trying the knob again, “You fucking open the door or… or ill break it down!”

I didn’t know what I was saying; maybe it was just in the moment? He and I both knew I couldn’t break down a door.

“Go ahead and try Mimi, let’s see you break down this door” I heard Niall struggling with a pill bottle.

My body was shaking as I stepped back from the door. I clenched my fists and ran at the door, ramming into it with my side. It hurt a lot more than I thought; I grabbed the part of my body that I ran into the door with. I think I started crying harder because of the pain.

“Nice try Mimi, but there’s no way you're breaking down this door, and there is no way I’m living anymore” Niall said as he still struggled with the pill bottle.

I closed my eyes and slammed against the door again, hoping for something. I heard a little crack but knew it wasn’t enough. I ran into it again, another few cracks. The pain was throbbing through my body, I couldn’t hide my tears, it hurt too much.

I ran into the door this time, and then I heard more cracks. And that’s when I knew the door was going to be knocked down soon. I just needed to keep doing what I’m doing. I backed up again like I did the first time. I rammed into the door again and this time I fell forward. When I hit the ground I let out a groan, it hurt like a bitch.

I looked up at Niall who just opened the pill bottle, he didn’t even acknowledge that I was sitting right there, on top of his bathroom down, on the bathroom floor. I got up at fast as I could; Niall was just reaching for his first pill. It felt like everything was in slow motion. I got up off the ground and hit the pill bottle out of Niall's hands. He looked at me like I just did the worst thing possible, I noticed his arms, and both of them had fresh, new, bleeding cuts. I cringed then looked back up at Niall, he still looked angry. The pills were all over the floor, there was no point in picking them up and trying to kill yourself.

“Why did you that?” he screamed in my face.

I started walking back, I knew what was coming, he was going to scream at me.

“You fucking bitch! You knew I wanted to kill myself, why did you have to stop me! I fucking hate my life and everything in it! You messed up everything!”

Next thing I knew I was pinned up against the wall in the hallway. Niall's face in mine, his light blue eyes were dark with anger, to be honest I was scared.

“What if I messed up your one chance at suicide Mimi! Guess what? I wouldn’t! Because I would know how badly you wanted to leave!”

“No you wouldn’t Niall! Don’t lie to me! You would try to stop every chance I got, don’t fucking play me like that!” I screamed back at him, I know this isn’t the best thing to be doing for a suicidal person who just tried killing themselves but I didn’t know what to do.

“You're a fucking bitch, you couldn’t just let me die? You had to come save me didn’t you?! You just had to ruin everything!”

I couldn’t take it anymore, I grabbed Niall's face and kissed him, my hands were rubbing his back, I wanted him to know everything would be okay. When he pulled away I noticed his dark eyes went light again, they were blood shot from all the crying he was doing. Then he started crying again. I grabbed him and hugged him, one hand in his hair and another on his back. He was sobbing hard.

“Shh, Niall it'll be okay, calm down” I whispered, his head, resting on my shoulder.

“I'm so sorry Mimi, I shouldn’t have gotten angry”

“It's okay Niall, I understand why you were mad. But don’t ever do this again”

“Mimi?” Niall lifted his head, “don’t leave me tonight”

“I'm not going anywhere”

-end of chapter-