I Do | LS

6. H

Song Of The Chapter: Organs by Of Monsters And Men

I sat quietly on the way to Liam's house. I had lost any appetite to eat but he still suggested we did. The lump in my throat was too strong for anything to go down.

"If you didn't lose your job, then that talk with Simon couldn't have possibly been that bad." Liam glanced over at me then back at the road.

"You're right, Liam. It was as dandy as gumdrops and lollipops." I whispered sarcastically and rested my head against the window.

"Sorry, buddy." Niall chimed in from the back seat, trying to ease my mood.

I was torn between screaming until my throat was raw and peacefully letting reality set in. The calmer option seemed better, so I emptied every thought from my head. As a matter of fact, nothing was in my head since Simons talk with Louis and I. It was as though someone strolled into my head and pulled the off switch. What was usually filled with far distances of imagination, was only depressingly blank.

I wasn't sure how everything came to be the way they did. Louis and I, at first, wanted nothing more than to be best friends. We had sleepovers and late night chats. It was a safe haven for friends, when everything else turned to shit. Louis and I only wanted to be each other's safe place. Instead, we were losing each other because of my stupid, needy self.

Not soon enough, we arrived at Liam's house. It was a nice house on six acres of land. There was more land than house, meaning large areas for parties and more tables and chairs for around his pool. I often showed up, even uninvited, to relax at his place. This time, it was different; I wanted to be in the darkness of my bedroom in my own home. The risk of even looking at Louis was too high.

I wanted to sleep away my sadness like there was no tomorrow.

When Liam came to a complete stop, I opened the door so quickly I thought it broke off.

"Sorry," I muttered and sped out. The fresh air felt heavenly to breath in. I was a flower, trapped in a glass, slowly wilting away due to lack of air.

I dashed to the front door, punched in the security code to get inside, and rushed through the wooden frame. Footsteps sounded from somewhere behind me so I began jogging for the farthest room. The desperate need for alone time to think about life was great.

I closed the bedroom door behind me quietly so my hiding spot wouldn't be given away too fast. A little bit of time alone was all I was asking for.

It was a guest bedroom. A big, circular bed sat in the corner, and the shades were down. I hummed contently because it was dark and secluded. A loud thump erupted from my body falling into the bed. The crimson red duvet wrapped around my body, engulfing me like a wave.

A wave in which I was no longer anything.

My body went rigid when the sound of the door opening caught me off gaurd. Who the hell would be in here? Liam and Niall could clearly sense that I needed a moment to myself. And Louis was told to stay away from me - and for me to stay away from him.

I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to slow my breathing.

"Harry," a voice whispered.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Thank god I was turned away from him or else my feigning would have been noticeable.

"You always were a terrible actor, Haz - I know you're awake. If you were legitimately sleeping, your breathing would be slow and steady." Louis mumbled. "Can we talk?"

I kept still.

He sighed, "If you're not going to talk, then I suppose you'll have to listen."

I wanted to turn around and say 'no shit, Sherlock', but didn't only because it was my moody side that would've spoken.

"Listen," he said as I felt the bed dip down next to me, "nobody knows I'm back here so I'm going to make this quick. I should've never gone behind El's back and invited you to my wedding. She was right. Us together isn't good, as hard as it is to say. Something always goes wrong, and you can't even deny it."

Something always goes wrong? Thanks, Louis. I'm glad you felt everything we did together was worth the time, too.

I heard the change in his voice, it wasn't the Louis I knew that was talking - it was as if someone was holding a gun to his head, "I'm not trying to lose my job, either. Just get over it, Harry. Get over us. We were nothing more than bandmates."

My eyes began to water. How can he say something so simply? I threw off the blankets and flipped around in the snap of a finger.

"You fucking bastard, son of a bitch, asshole!" I screamed in his face, making him flinch slightly. "Nothing more than bandmates? Nothing more?! You weren't saying that when I was pounding you from the back!"

My heart was rapidly beating and my blood was boiling. I was so, unbelievably angry that it had caught me off gaurd.

He stood up from the bed, face bright red, and attempted to yell back in my face, "I love Eleanor, you douchebag! And that sex didn't mean anything, because if it did then I would've told the world about it! You were head over heels for me, not the other way around!"

He crossed the line. Nobody ever crosses the line.

I threw myself at Louis and tackled him to the floor. I sat on his legs and pinned his arms to the side.

"Say it again, Louis fucking Tomlinson!" I shouted. "Tell me you didn't love me!"

He laid there, and spoke calmly, "I didn't love you."

"Try me, bit-"

"Jesus Christ, Harry!" A voice boomed from the door. The second I turned my neck to see, Liam was already pulling me off the boy on the floor. He pushed me into the hallway and stood in my way as Niall went to help pick up Louis.

"What's gotten into you?" He asked, keeping my attention away from Louis.

Louis was fucking with my emotions, was really what I wanted to say. However, all I did was breath heavy and keep my head down. If I had to talk, I'd probably end up having another outburst.

I glanced up over Liam's shoulders and saw Louis. Our eyes locked, and something about his was regretful, yet slightly hateful. There was unusual darkness in those naturally blue eyes. It was anything but the Louis I knew.

I shook my head, "I need to go. Don't let anyone know about this."

So that afternoon, I walked all the way home alone. Shaking and emotionally unstable.

[a/n: sooo hope you liked xx -xxlarryschildxx]