Fall For You ~Muke Clemmings~

Chapter 32

I got up Monday morning with heavy eyes. I stared at the clock and groaned, realising I should be getting up sometime. I rolled out of my bed, a heavy thought on my mind. I went down the hall and into the kitchen, opening the fridge with a frown. I grabbed out an apple, hesitantly taking a few shaky bites. It didn't taste right and it didn't feel right when I swallowed the contents. 

Four bites in and my stomach felt uneasy. I opened the trashcan and threw away the partially eaten apple. I promised. I went back to my bedroom and closed the door. I took off my clothing - except for my boxers - and stood in front of my full length mirror.

I poked my stomach, the fat disgusting me. "How am I so obese?" I asked myself quietly, turning to the side and noticing how my stomach was hanging over. I sighed, grabbing a tack out of the wall and going towards the bathroom for my shower. I lock the door and quickly grab out an unbroken razor. I sit down on the toilet, slowly breaking the plastic off. 

"You deserve it." I whispered to myself. The plastic broke and I threw the piece away. I used the tack to slowly pull out each individual razor and place them on the sink. When the razor was dismembered, I wrapped it in toilet paper and tossed it. I turned on the water, taking off my boxers. I placed my hand under the running water, waiting for the temperature to heat up. 

I stepped away when the water got warm. I glanced a the fresh small pieces of metal. Michael loved me, so why was I doing this? Instinctively, I grabbed the blade and made a fresh cut on my arm. The tension and the anxiety that was weighing on my chest was relieved with a swift motion and a calm exhalation. 

As the blood slowly prickled to the surface, I made more cuts. My skin opened up as blood started to come out at a steady pace. Small crimson drops of liquid fell to the floor. "Fuck." I swore, realising the mistake. I placed the razor down and grabbed some toilet paper, wiping off the floor. What if my Mum saw the blood? She already knows I haven't been eating, I can't allow her to worry more and more. My stomach began to feel even more uneasy as I began thinking about my weight.

After the blood was successfully cleaned from the floor, I placed my bloodied arm underneath the warm running water. I swore again as the stream hit my cuts. I stepped inside the shower, closing the curtains gently. The fresh water was turning orange as my cuts continued to bleed. 

--

I went into the school, immediately searching for Michael. "Gay boy, gay boy, gay boy!" I heard a few people chant as I walked by. But I realised a moment later that they weren't chanting at me. I saw Michael, tears on his cheeks, being tormented as he walked through the busy halls.

"Mikey?" I asked, jogging over to him. He looked up at me angrily, shoving me to the ground.

"It's your fault!" He yelled, causing everybody to silence. I just looked up at him, thinking about him saying he loved me and wishing I would eat. How he flushed the blades and wanted me to be safe.

He threw a kick at my stomach as I croaked out a cough. "The fag is upset!" Somebody said to Michael. 

Michael fell to the ground in tears, his heavy sobbing making me confused. "Your fault." He cried, his hands covering his face. I didn't hold the anger against him, after all I completely ruined his reputation. Being gay in this school meant that you were at the very bottom of the social ladder. If I refused to talk to Michael that day, he would be okay now. So was this my fault? The bipolar anger and sadness that Michael has been dealing with lately?

"I know, I know. But Mikey I have been dealing with this for a long time. It will get better." I whispered, placing my hand on his shoulder as it moved up and down with every audible cry.

He shook his head and looked up at me, his face and eyes red. "Why did I fall for you?" He asked me.

"I don't know." I whispered again. 

I hear laughs and a boy say, "We should clear out before they make a gay sex tape." 

For the first time in a long time, I stood up from the ground and went over to the person making the joke. I had my hand in a fist as I got closer to him, glaring into his dark brown eyes. "Leave in the fuck alone, you lonely ugly asshole." I swore at him. I didn't have the best insults, but I had the best intentions.

"What are you going to do about it, gay boy?" He asks me, shoving me back slightly.

The hand I held in a tight fist went up. I was completely aware and shocked at my next actions; I threw a punch. I hit his cheek roughly, hurting my hand in the process. "I'm going to fucking kill you." He swears at me, holding his cheek.

"I am not scared of you." I whispered threateningly. I crouched back down to be face-to-face with Michael. "I promise you, Mikey, it will all be okay." I promised him, running my hand through his coloured hair.

He gave me a smile through his sniffling and crying, and I knew that it was genuine. I stood back up, my side throbbing as I helped him off the ground. "Anyone want to say anything?" I asked the crowd of people that had gathered around the scene. Nobody said a word as Michael and I walked away.