Fall For You ~Muke Clemmings~

Chapter 34

It has been so long since I have updated. My username even changed. Do you guys like the new cover?

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I was never going to be top of the school. I wasn't going to be able to wear the red sash that people who were on the honor roll were to wear. I got accepted to a local university and my major was going to be musical engineering. Michael was going to another university to major in psychology.

So that day, we sat in the uncomfortable chairs in the uncomfortable heat, those thoughts crossed my mind. Michael was the first of us to get his diploma. He went up there, with his black and white hair, smiling at a camera. Then there was me. When my name was called from the row of H's I was in, I felt pride rise in my chest.

There was nothing more accomplishing in my life. I grabbed the meaningless piece of paper. I worked years for this. I was forced into a torturous life as a child and made it out a stronger person. I took a glance at Michael as I walked back to my seat. He nodded at me a congratulations and I just smiled.

Calum was called soon after me.

And then Ashton.

After that, the graduation dragged on. "Good luck, class of 2016!" The principal called as we all threw our hats into the air. It was a picture perfect moment. We all bore our eyes into the brightly lit sky where our hats shadowed above us. We all smiled at the view, knowing we achieved something great. Knowing that our paths had only just been explored. The hats fell down, the moment almost lasting forever. I had looked to Calum, who has only a couple seats from me. He had come over and hugged me as we both laughed in amazement.

But the moment wasn't forever.

"What are you doing babe?" Michael asked me, sitting down on his bed as I looked down at my phone. I sighed, looking at the picture my Mum had taken of all the caps in the air. Each person had their heads tilted to the sky, smiles bright and genuine. 

"You're leaving tomorrow." I mumbled. This was the end. And I knew it was.

He wrapped his arms around me gently, his black and white hair getting into my face. "I am going to miss you, skunk." I told him, holding his arms tightly. I wish we could live in a fantasy world, where our troubles would be meaningless. Where the readers knew for fact that everything was going to work out for us in the end, that one of us was going to switch schools to surprise the other.

But, this is different. 

We weren't switching schools and I could not be certain of a happy ever after. There were no readers, just my own insight. Watching upon my own world in a black and white haze. Michael ran his hands down my arms and I flinched. Don't notice. I whispered to him inside my head.

"You okay?" Michael asks. Before I could react, he pulls my sleeve up. Fresh red lines from the night before ruined the previously healed wrist. "Luke..." Michael said simply.

I shook my head. "Don't." I told him, trying to pull my arm away. He kept a tight yet gentle hold of my arm. 

At least for a moment. But then he lets go in what seemed like defeat. "Is this how it is going to be, Luke?" Michael asked me. I played with the sleeves of my sweatshirt. The person who used to torture me everyday is now the only person giving me reasons to live. My Mum is never around and we have lost contact with Ashton and Calum. At least for a month. 

The only thought on my mind recently was how I was going to be losing him. "Can I not live my own life without you mutilating yourself when I am gone?" He asked me harshly. 

At this time, I was only two weeks clean. As the new school year, this time university, approached I could not live with the idea of being alone. And I was going to be alone fairly soon and I was not prepared. "I-I... I didn't mean..." I tried explaining my actions. Michael moves off his bed, no longer in the happy mood he had been in.

"I don't want to keep worrying about you!" He screamed at me. 

"Then don't!" I screamed back, hot angry tears forming in my eyes. The warm liquid feel from my eyes down my already tingling cheeks.

Michael stayed silent for a moment. "Fine. Leave." He told me.

He was kicking me out. He was giving up on me for the actions in which I cannot control. So I grabbed my shoes and went over to him. He looked away from me. "I love you." I whispered, planting a kiss on the cheek before I left his room. I quickly went down his stairs and outside. I ran home in the cool September weather. All I could hear was wind in my ears and the sound of my feet hitting the tar below me. I ran for about five minutes before approaching the familiar apartment building. My blurry vision led me inside and towards the elevator. 

It was almost midnight. Michael was leaving tomorrow at seven in the morning. We were going to spend the night together. I leaned against the elevator wall, waiting as the piece of machinery brought my up to my floor. I heard a ding and the door opened. I went to my apartment and opened the door shakily. I turned on a nearby light and saw my Mum's shoes weren't home.

"Fuck." I whispered to myself. 

I ran to my room and slammed the door shut. I took out my razors and fell to the ground with the cursed metal in my hand. "I can't do anything right." I told myself. My phone began to ring and Michael's face immediately popped up onto the screen. 

New message.

From Skunk: I shouldn't have gotten mad (Sent six minutes ago)

From Skunk: I am coming over (Sent three minutes ago)

I shrugged. I placed the phone down and the razor onto my skin. I heard a knock on the door. Loud banging. I closed my eyes as I made a few more horizontal lines into my aching wrist. "Luke? Are you home?" I heard distantly.

But then I heard the door open. I got up and shut off my light. I leaned up against the wall as my bedroom door opened. "Luke?" I heard.

"I saw the light go off." Michael said. I saw a small light, he was probably using his phone to guide him through the darkness. He closed the door over to see my bloodied wrist held out in front of me. I stared at him with tired eyes as he just bent down. "Are you okay? Let me help clean you up, okay babe?" Michael began, looking at my wrist that was stained red.

I shook my head no, not being able to properly form words. I saw a couple tears escape Michael's eyes and then just sigh. He sits down next to me as I lean onto his shoulder. "Say something I'm giving up on you." He began singing quietly. "I'll be the one if you want me to. Anywhere I, would have followed you. Say something I'm giving up on you." He continues singing.

So we spent the last night before Michael's first day at university in a dark room, his singing the only noise, with my wrist held out bleeding. We may not be perfect, but the flaws in our relationship is what developed it in the first place. He may have broken me, but he was there to tape the pieces back together as well; and in that moment I felt grateful. I closed my eyes and allowed the singing to relax me to the point that I fell asleep. 

And when I awoke, he was gone.