Torn Apart ((Kylo Ren)) //Unfinished but being reworked//

Emotions

The last time I felt the pull between the Light and the Dark was about four months ago. By then, I had figured out many secret places on the Finalizer and I was making my way to one after a long day of training.

I had washed myself and put on a black shirt that stopped above my stomach and a skirt that swept against the floor as I walked. I also had thrown on a cloak for warmth and my damp hair was stuck inside it. My hair clung to my skin and I shivered as droplets rolled smoothly down my exposed back. I tightened the cloak around me and pressed on, ignoring the Stormtroopers I passed.

I finally came to the right hall and stopped to check my surroundings before jumping to grab the frame of a door. I swung my legs up and fell into a crouch in the small recess above. I paused there for a moment to listen and sense anything but I found nothing. I crawled until the ceiling shot skyward and a small room was in front of me.

I stood with a sigh, stretching out my legs and tugging my tight shirt down. I looked upward and smiled at the stars visible from a small imperfection on the top of the ship. An accidental window.

I lied down under it an gazed up in awe. The stars had always seemed so far away but here I was one with them. They were giants, masters of the universe and soon I'd have the privilege of ruling the galaxy alongside them.

I let my mind wander into the thoughts of what I'll become and what I have to do to get there but I keep becoming distracted. Master Ren keeps floating across my thoughts. More accurately, what he had told me today.

I was turned away from him, panting to catch my breath after attempting to stop a laser from a blaster. I was strong but almost completely untrained, all my worthless father taught me was how to hide my power.

"You have to learn to harness the Force. It's everywhere and especially strong in you, take it and use it. A pretty face like your's cannot get you out of every situation." His modified voice calls to me. I took a deep breath before turning back to face him.

He shoots at me again and I throw my hand up in defense. The laser stops inches from my face. I feel myself start to strain from the effort but then focus on the Force. Dark energy twisting around me and fueling my power. I willed it to hold the laser and I felt better.

I stepped out from behind the blast and threw it at a practice dummy I usually use for lightsaber training.

"Excellent. Go now Cassandra, I shall see you at dinner." He says before stalking out of the room importantly. I shiver at the thought of dinner. I normally ate in the seclusion of my room but Master Ren had informed me that tonight we were to dine with the rulers of some planet that used to be an enemy of the First Order. I'm too smart to argue so I agreed.

I decided to skip dinner. Too much emphasis on alliances and handshakes, conquests are won with military might and power. But as I think over what Master Ren said, I noticed how he indirectly called me pretty. He had done that before, thinking about it now. I thought back to when General Hux had tortured me for the sole purpose of his own enjoyment and how afterwards Ky-Master Ren had come to comfort me. I'm his apprentice, he has to like me at least a little in order for him to keep me around. I racked my brain for more excuses for his actions but found none.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything." I bolt upright and reach for my waistline, only to find it empty. I curse under my breath at my habit of reaching for my training saber. I turn slowly to face the intruder. My breath catches in my throat, it was Kylo. He stood, hunched over, his full height too tall for the room. He was also dressed differently, black pants and black collared shirt with a cape around his shoulders. His mask was absent from his face, leaving me to stare directly into his dark, brown eyes.

"Nothing of importance. Just watching the stars." I reply, lying back down. If he was going to yell, let him yell. If he wanted to fight, let him fight. I didn't care. I'm just as strong as him.

"Come with me to dinner Cassandra. Supreme Leader has requested both of us to attend." Is all he says. I roll my eyes and don't move.

"Snoke can tell me himself if he wants me to go to a dinner party." I mutter, sensing Kylo's body tense when I said Snoke's name. No one dared to say his name, always calling him Supreme Leader. I would never call him my leader. If I ever followed anyone, it'd be Kylo.

"If you insist on being stubborn, I will resort to other methods." He tells me though his teeth. I laugh and flip onto my stomach to look at him. He doesn't seem completely angry but he certainly wasn't his normal.......I'm not sure what to call his normal state. He's never calm, never happy, never anything. Always just Kylo.

"I'd like to see you try." I say, pushing myself to my feet and walking towards him. I walk up to his face and stand on the balls of my feet to try and reach his height.

My gaze never wavers from his eyes are they search my face. He is speechless for a moment, distracted by something. His eyes land on my cheek, most likely the faint birthmark on it. It's almost impossible to see unless you stood as close to me as Kylo is. I watch his hand twitch upward like he was going to touch it but he holds it to his side. A strange feeling bubbles up inside my chest, surprising me. I reach out and bring his hand to my cheek slowly, letting him touch the area of my birthmark. He leans close to me and I'm unsure what to do so I stand there silently, his breath warm against my skin. I watch him examine the mark from the corner of my eye. He seems so intent on memorizing it, so absorbed at the sight of something he has seen everyday. I realized then that I was seeing a side of Kylo that I had never seen before. A softer side. One that drew me into him more than his usual behavior ever could.

Instinct and emotion suddenly took over my reason and I took his face into my hands before pressing my lips firmly onto his. He seemed shocked at first but didn't pull away and after his initial reaction, he kissed me back. It was passionate and hungry, both of us wanting more. His hand left my face and one found its way to my exposed stomach under my cloak. The other entangled itself in my hair, tugging it free of my back.

It seemed to last a lifetime but sooner than I liked, I pulled away. A pain had exploded inside my stomach, leaving me feeling like I was being ripped apart. I cried out in pain and stumbled away back towards the center of the makeshift room.

"Cassandra!" Kylo steps over to me and guides me down to sit on the floor. I look up at him for a second and see the worry in his eyes.

I take a few labored breaths before speaking. "The Force. The Resistance or someone working for the Light side is here. It hurts, please make it stop." I drop my face to the ground and clutch my stomach. I feel Kylo rub my back before standing.

"Resistance fighters are here. For you, no doubt. Come, you have to hide. Dinner can wait." He helps me stand and we crawl to the opening of the recess slowly. When we reach the door, he drops down first so that he could lower me. But as soon as my feet hit the floor, my knees give out and I crumble into his arm.

I close my eyes in disgust of my weakness. "Put me to sleep Kylo. And make up a story to explain my state if anyone asks. Don't let them know that I am weak. Please." I beg, looking up at him. A nod is my response before his hand glides over my eyes and my vision grows as dark as his eyes.

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"I could have loved him but I never let myself find out. I closed myself off, dismissed all emotions and focused on my power. He never stopped though and I hate myself for it now." I mutter. I turn my head when I feel the ghost's presence next to me. He looks saddened by my story but also like he understood my pain.

"Then tell him that."