Poems for Everything (Part#1)

Head Above Water

The water closes over my head;

my eyes sting from the salt;

my lungs scream at me for air,

but I can't give it to them.

I try to kick my way to the surface,

but no matter how hard I kick,

I can't break the surface.

I could be swimming the wrong way for all I know.

My lungs are burning,

I swim harder,

but it's like someone is holding me under.

I want to take a breathe,

but I can't.

I don't want to die.

But then,

maybe drowning wouldn't be so bad,

maybe it would be a better death than one from a broken heart.

I could just open my mouth,

let the water flood in and force itself down my throat,

let it fill my lungs slowly to the brim,

and while I'll be trying to cough the water back out,

more will go in.

I'm scared to death of drowning,

but I want to die this way.

I stop kicking my legs

and pushing with my arms.

I float there,

about to open my mouth,

about to just let myself go;

right when strong arms reaches in,

wraps around my waist,

and pulls me upward.

I want to scream at the arms,

want to tell them to let me go;

but we break the surface of the water

and I gasp in fresh air,

coughing up the little water that got in me.

I open my eyes

to see your face.

I can tell that you were scared

but why?

You pull me close to your body,

and I realize I'm cold.

I shiver in your arms

as you keep my head above the water.

I cry silently,

and you let me.

I close my eyes;

and when I open them,

I'm standing outside my home,

in your arms.

The salty water wasn't really water,

they were tears that flowed from my eyes.

I never went under water,

I just closed my eyes,

letting the cold wind numb me.

I lay my head on your chest,

seeing my feet in white snow

next to your shoes.

My shorts don't reach my knees,

letting the wind create goose flesh on my legs.

My torso is covered with a large sweatshirt,

but it feels like I have nothing covering me.

Your so warm,

I just lean into you.

You hold me,

not ever letting go;

so I banish the thoughts of letting myself go,

letting myself die in grief and all alone.

You'll keep my head above water,

I know you will.