Writing Letters [completed // editing]

Preface *

**EDITED**

"Love doesn't make the world go round; love is what makes the ride worthwhile."

                              ~unknown

Preface

This is my last letter to you, my Guardian Angel. Even now, as I write this, I know that you will never read it. I will never put it in the mailbox, never put up the little red flag signaling mail, never adress it, never stamp it. No, this is for me to write. As I have poured out my feelings into these letters, I realized something. On my way to redemption, I fell in love with you. 

With your smile, the way you laugh, the way you held me when I cried. I remember all the little fights we had, and the way when I got drunk, throwing things and screaming, you never gave up on me. You would hold me tight until the fight drained out of me, and then you'd tuck me into my bed. I fell in love with the way you'd sing me to sleep, defend me from people's prying questions. 

But most of all, I love the little things you'd do. Like that one day, where I caught you staring at my chest, when you thought I wasn't looking. Or how you'd remember my favorite drink from our cafe. All the stolen kisses, the tears, the drama. And can I tell you a secret? I never forgot how much you loved my oversized sweaters, my leggings, my Uggs. I never forgot the way you loved when I messed up your hair, the way we'd watch scary movies together. Looking back on it now,  it seems silly, doesn't it? 

But these are the memories that I keep, to remind myself that I'm in love. 

Can I tell you another secret?

I'm scared of forgetting how you smell, and the way your voice sounds, and the feel of your hands. Because when that happens...

I've lost you forever.