Life After Mockingjay

Chapter Thirty Eight; I Remember This

chapter kinda smutty

I walk along the sidewalk, holding Rye close to my chest as Peeta and Willow travel behind. Willow has chosen to hold her own suitcase, so Peeta is carrying ours.

Rye let's out a whimper every now and then, and I place a feathery light kiss on his little head. This past month has been hard; one of the hardest ever. I'm used to the lack of sleep. My nightmares are worsening, though, and I keep waking Rye during the hours that he actually sleeps.

"Mommy, is this going to be fun?" Willow asks, tugging on my shirt. "I've never seen the Capitol. Aunt Effie told me that it is very beautiful."

I stiffen, clearing my throat as I pat Willow on the head with my empty arm. "It is beautiful, Willow. I know that you and Daddy will have a great time."

During the day, I will attend therapy with Dr. Aurelius. Rye will come with me, because I'll have to feed him, and he's always fussy when I'm not around. Willow and Peeta will explore the Capitol together. Though Peeta is uneasy about the whole idea, Willow is ecstatic. She can't wait to see all of the oddly dressed people and the beautiful sights of the Capitol.

"Here we are." I whisper, staring over at the large train in front of us. "Ready?" I ask Peeta. His face is blank, as he looks into the entrance of the train. I was right, it's exactly the same as it used to be.

He nods, moving forward. I follow him, and as soon as I enter, I am overcome with hundreds of memories. The late nights talking with Peeta, the ride home after Prim died, and the very seats we sat in when I said the first word to Peeta.

"Wow." Peeta says subtly, as Willow runs around the train, bouncing on the seats and looking at all of the pastries set out. I shake my head.

"This is selfish." I whisper, turning to Peeta. "I shouldn't have asked you to come here."

"No, Katniss." Peeta says, kissing my temple. "I agreed to do this. I'll be okay."

I nod, walking to the bedrooms. As I begin to take the things out of my suitcase, I feel the train begin to move. Rye makes small noises as I set him into the small bassinet we brought along with us.

"Mommy, this is amazing!" Willow says, jumping onto the bed. "Can we stay here forever?"

I smile at her, shaking my head and letting out a slight chuckle. "You never want to go home? You wouldn't get sick of this?"

"Nope." She insists, walking around the room with her hands on her hips. "I love it here."

Must be nice to have good memories of this train. I'm sure many people that haven't witnessed the things Peeta and I have do.

+++

The shower is just as I remember it; warm and amazing. The many jets and settings satisfy me as I play with them, washing my hair with the lavender scented shampoo.

I wrap a towel around myself, drying my hair gently. I walk out into the bedroom to see Peeta fumbling with his prosthetic, a helpless expression on his face.

I hurriedly help him, unstrapping the prosthetic and placing it next to the night stand.

I give him a reassuring nod, and he kisses my forehead, laying back onto the bed.

Willow and Rye are in the room right next to us. Willow insisted on having her own 'big girl' room, and I wasn't in the mood to argue. I placed Rye's cot in there also, because I wanted to talk to Peeta.

"I checked on the kids." I say, taking my hair out of my towel and going to put a bra on. "They're asleep."

Peeta doesn't answer. I only hear him grunt and bang on something. I turn around, to see him gripping desperately on the side table, his face blood red and eyes clouded over.

"Peeta." I whisper, approaching him quickly, ignoring the fact that I am soaking wet and naked. "Peeta, it's me, Katniss. I'm you're wife, Peeta. We have two beautiful children, Willow and Rye. I love you." I whisper. I know that there is no way that the children and I can escape Peeta at this moment. He hasn't had a flashback in years. I was coming to think that they were over, but this is proving me wrong.

"Mutt." He hisses, banging his head against his fist.

"No." I whisper, wrapping my arms around him protectively and kissing his temple. "Peeta, I am not a mutt. I am Katniss Mellark, your wife."

He seems to calm slightly, a hint of blue coming back to his eyes. He exhales slowly, still gripping onto the bedside table.

"Peeta, I love you so much. I would never hurt you."

As he brings his hand to his heat, hitting it and mumbling something to himself, I can't think of anything else to do.

"Peeta! Not real!" I yell as I go to the bedroom door and lock it.

I approach him slowly, engulfing him in a hug and letting him cry on my shoulder. This is the end. He's coming back into reality.

I bring his face to mine, pressing my lips against his. As he pulls away, his eyes are no longer clouded over, but that gorgeous blue tint again.

"Are you back?" I ask shakily, running my thumb down his face.

"I need you, Katniss." He whispers, kissing my neck, and down my chest.

I kiss his forehead, letting him kiss my breasts. I moan softly, and he removes his boxers.

"It's been months, and I just need you, Katniss." He breaths against my skin. I don't object, letting him kiss up and down my body. I run my hand down his spine, kissing his neck.

"I need you too." I moan, as he enters me. I wrap my arms around him, bouncing on him. As soon as we reach our climax, I roll over next to him. He wraps his arm around me, kissing my temple.

"I love you."

+++

A/N:
Ahh smut sorry. I felt that it was needed, because Katniss and Peeta have been so distant lately. Happy Mother's Day! Pls vote and comment!