Life After Mockingjay

Chapter Forty Six; Empty

"What?" Effie asks, looking at me puzzled. I look down at the kitchen table, letting one single tear drip down my face. Johanna looks at me, and Annie looks over to Johanna, asking what's happening.

"What do you mean you're late, Katniss?" Johanna asks, rubbing my back sympathetically. "What are you late for?"

"No," I whisper, shaking my head. "No, I'm late." I let out a silent sob, taking a deep breath. I exhale slowly. "My period," I whisper, staring at the table, not wanting to pick my head back up. "I was due a week ago, and I just forgot. I'm never late. That must mean..." My voice trails off.

"Irregular periods are not uncommon, Katniss. You are getting older, your body could just be changing." Annie says, trying to cheer me up, but I know she's wrong.

"No." I choke, trying to keep myself from hyperventilating. "I've been on birth control to regulate my cycle since a few weeks after Rye was born. There's no way that I'm just suddenly late. I'm always on the dot."

"Katniss, I'll get you a test when I run to the store? Okay? I'll leave now." Johanna says, grabbing her purse. "Actually, I'll just go to the one down the street. I'll be back in five minutes." She says, sprinting towards the door. I bury my head into my hands.

"What if Peeta doesn't wake up, and I'm actually pregnant?" I ask, letting a steady flow of tears form. "The baby will never know their father. I'd have to raise three kids on my own."

"Everything will work out in the end," Effie says, wrapping her arm around me to comfort me. "I promise, darling."

+++

"Please, please, please," I whisper, shaking the test in my hand to make my result come quicker. I have two children, whom I love dearly. I'm not scared of them being taken away anymore. I should be thrilled to become a mother again, but with Peeta's condition uncertain, the last thing I want to be is pregnant.

The test beeps, and I look down, getting the response that's going to change my life.

POSITIVE

"This can't be happening," I whisper, running my hands through my hair. The word keeps echoing through my brain, making me sick. Positive, positive, positive. I'm having another child. I will be carrying a baby for nine months, and may even be giving birth without Peeta by my side.

"Katniss?" Effie asks, knocking lightly on the door. I open it, to see Effie, Johanna, and Annie waiting outside of the door. "Are you?" Effie asks softly.

I don't know what to say, so I just nod, walking into her arms and letting the tears flow. Johanna and Annie pat me on the back, attempting to comfort me as I sob into Effie's shoulder. I pull away, wiping the tears from my eyes and recollection myself. "I have to get back to the hospital." I whisper, going back into the bathroom and brushing my knotted hair quickly. I braid it, brush my teeth, and hurriedly put my shoes back on.

"Katniss, I'm going to help you if Peeta doesn't make it." Johanna whispers as I leave. I try to ignore her words. 'If Peeta doesn't make it.' They make me sick.

+++

"Katniss, I thought you were going home to shower and rest?" Haymitch says as I walk into Peeta's hospital room. I set my overnight bag down and pull the convertible couch out, transforming it into a bed.

"I just-" I whisper, sitting down on the small bed. "I think I'm going to be needing a lot of extra help if Peeta doesn't pull through." I whisper, trying to make myself think of the worst. Maybe, just maybe, if I don't think positive, Peeta will somehow get through this. I just have to plan. I have to face reality eventually. A single tear rolls down Haymitch's cheek.

"I have two children, that depend on me for everything. I have to think of them. That's what Peeta would want," I whisper. "I'm going to need you to help though, because it's not just Peeta, Willow, Rye, and I anymore."

"Katniss, I don't understand."

"I'm pregnant, Haymitch." I murmur, placing my hand on my abdomen, trying to make myself smile.

"You're pregnant?" He asks, pulling me into a hug and squeezing me tightly. "Katniss, that's great. I'm so happy for the two of you."

"But if Peeta doesn't make it," I whisper, my tears soaking through the fabric of his shirt. "I'm going to need you to help me with the baby."

"Of course, sweetheart." Haymitch says, pulling away from our embrace.

He looks over to Peeta and frowns. "I'll give you some time alone." He whispers, kissing the top of my head and walking out of the hospital room, shutting the door tightly behind him.

I crawl into bed with Peeta, knowing he doesn't know I'm there. Though, I still seek his warmth. It's always calming.

"Hey," I choke, kissing his forehead. "It's me... Willow and Rye miss you. I miss you." I whisper. I exhale slowly, trying to stop myself from crying. "Peeta, I need you to wake up." I say, grasping his hand and pressing it against my lips. "I know you're in pain, but I need you to be strong for me. You have to be strong for Me, Willow, Rye, and the baby." I say, bringing his hand to my abdomen and pressing it up against it gently. "There's a baby growing inside of me. Your child is inside of me." I say, smiling to myself. "You are such an amazing father, and you're going to be an amazing father to our baby."

I lay down next to him, listening to the steady thud of his heartbeat. "Please wake up, Peeta."

There are no words left inside of me, so I do all that I can do. I cry and cry. I cry for myself and the baby. I cry for Willow and Rye, who could lose their best friend. I cry until there is nothing left inside of me, and I am left empty.