Dangerous Pursuit

Chapter 14

                  

Jeremy

"Alex, really I am very sorry." I followed the woman pacing around the floor.

She stopped and faced me pointing her fingers on my chest, "I am tired of saving your ass, Jeremy. Please stop this."

I hug her tight and crushed my lips on hers. She pushed me and slapped me hard.

"I'm sorry Alex but I can't deny my feelings anymore." I hold her shoulders and kissed her endlessly not wanting to let her go. She tried to push me hard but I hug her tighter. I hold her head to deepen my kiss. I want her to respond, I want to feel her need of me as I need her.

Slowly she accepted my kiss. She responded with same eagerness, same longing.

After an endless moment that is so precious with me, she cried on my chest. "I hate you Jeremy. I hate you for making me feel like this."

I hug her tighter while kissing her head. I don't want to let her go.

I wake up again with dreams that seems so real. I look at Zac soundly sleeping on my bed. I have to sleep on the couch. He's the one wounded not me. I am perfectly okay except with my loss memory.

Who is Alex? How many women are there in my life? I am still trying to locate the place of that Bessie in my life but no memory of her is coming yet. Alex? The feelings are so intense. Is she the woman I truly loved? If I compare my feelings to Trisha and Alex, my feelings for Trisha is great loss and pain. For Alex, it's feeling of great need. Trisha is my death and Alex is my life.

Why I can't remember any of my missions in the organization? Why I joined the organization?

I decide to go up and make coffee. I can't disturb the sleep of this bastard. I will keep my eye on him. I can't trust him. I don't know why Sandra trust him.

"Can't sleep?" Sandra sat in front of me. Her eyes are tired and sleepy. Like me she can't sleep. I really pity her.

"I just had dreams......maybe remote memories. They are often coming to me lately." I gave her my cup of coffee which she gladly took and sip. I did not tell Sandra that lately dreams about Trisha and Alex became frequent. I guess they are the link in my past.

"About what? Good ones perhaps?"  Her eyes are full of concern

I took a sip of the coffee we are sharing. I am lazy to make another one.

"I can't tell you they are good ones. I think they are the women of my life."

Sandra softly chuckles and look at me knowingly. "Really, Jeremy? Even you lost your memory, still you think of women."

Her face got serious when she noticed that I did not find her words amusing. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," I smiled at her sadly, "It's just that the feelings are so real. It bothers me a lot. There are no faces in my dreams. I have this 'Trisha' that I feel I love her so much...."

Now I see the eyes of Sandra on me. She is carefully listening.

"In my dreams she left me in spite of my pleas. Letting me go is for my own good and she has to say goodbye. It hurts a lot that I felt that it was my death."

Sandra hold my hand. "Maybe she really exists Jeremy. Maybe she was the reason you joined the organization."

"Yeah," I sigh, "maybe she was the reason. But this other woman is somehow different."

"And that is..............?"

"She's always in my dreams. I don't want to lose her. As if she has been my life, my reason to live........but I lost her also." I sigh deeply trying to remember her but all I have are blank faces.