Dangerous Pursuit

Chapter 31

                  

Jeremy

I am such a coward to admit that I love her. I am such a coward to look for her again. I am afraid that she will tell she doesn't care for me. It will be my death.

I am afraid that I will lose Alex but I did not notice that I pushed her far away from me that I did not see her anymore after five years. I totally lose her.

Now I remember the time that I almost die. I survived for Alex. I fought to live to see her again. My love for her kept me alive.

"I can't lose you again, Alex." I try to move closer and touch her but she flinch away. I can see the hurt in her eyes and I know it is because of me. "I'm so sorry. I am so selfish. I got angry at you that you did not admit to me immediately that you are Alex."

"I told you she's long gone. You despise her. I almost ruined your relationship with Bessie and worst I ruined our good relationship." She shouted. Tears are threatening to fall from her eyes.

"No..." I try to pacify her.

"Listen, Jeremy," she cuts me off, "We can't be the same anymore. I know we had been like family................ like siblings................ but what happened between us totally destroyed everything. Now that you have your memory back, you have to go back to her.......to your real family...... Bessie."

"But you are my family, Alex. Always been. I am so stupid to admit it. I am a coward to admit that all the time that I love you and that never change even I lost my memory."

"It's too late Jeremy."

Yeah I know. It's too late. She has to be reunited now with Melissa's father. They deserve to have a happy family.

Defeated I look down. "It's okay, Alex, It's my fault. I know now that there is no more threat from the organization. I know you want to find Melissa's father."

"You are always welcome in my home, Jeremy." She sadly smiles. I know she just want to maintain our friendship.

"Thank you but I don't want to disturb you anymore. I will be honest with you, it took me time to admit that I love you and for five years I can't move on. Please give me time to recover and I will surely come to see you and Melissa."

"It's up to you Jeremy but as I told you, you are always welcome in my home as............ Melissa's father. That is if you are ready to be in her life."

"What......... do you mean?" I start to stammer. My ears can't believe what I am hearing. I want to be sure. My heart can't accept another pain especially now that the little girl has grown in my heart.

"I know you are just trying to be friendly. I will always be her 'Daddy Jeremy'." I know Alex well. She has always been thankful how I protected them. She will always think that she owes their lives from me but the truth is I owe her my life. I live because of her.......and now also because of Melissa. But I have to heal my heart first.

"Yes, because you are really her father."

I blink and try to assimilate what I just heard.

"But I don't want you to come in her life if you are not ready." Alex continue to explain further what she meant.

"You see Jeremy, Melissa has been my life and I try my best to protect her. Not just from the organization but also emotionally specially about her real father. I know how it felt like to be ......... rejected." She looked away to hide a painful memory. Definitely, painful memory from me.

"So, if you are not ready to be in her life, just be her 'Daddy Jeremy' like 'Daddy Zac'."

I am stunned. I feel I am floating in air. I can't believe that my impending doom turns to be my greatest blessing......my life.