Can't Get Enough

12.

12.

"That's the thing about pain. It demands to be felt." -John Green (The Fault In Our Stars)

The next day, Leila showed up at school looking like-quite frankly-an absolute mess. Her hair was in one of those buns that were so intricate but intended to look like they took no time, but it literally looked like it was done in no time. And it did not work. Instead of her regular polished tee shirt and jeans, she opted to wear sweats and a sweatshirt-like something she wore to bed. I assumed she did. Her once beautiful brown eyes that held hopes for the future now held a type of sorrow I couldn't really put my finger on.

But somehow, I felt it. All of it.

As I watch from my seat with my friends, she slowly enters into the lunchroom looking like a ghost. She ate alone,even though I could've sworn she started sitting with Michelle again.

Instead of being bent over homework like she usually did when she sat alone, Leila just sat there, rigid, staring blankly ahead. It was like her soul was someplace else while her body stayed here.

It scared me, but she'd made it clear she didn't care about what happened to her.

--

The next day, Leila didn't show up at school. Immediately I began to worry even more. We're talking about a girl who has had perfect attendance since the first grade. She even came on her death bed a few times. My mind and friends were telling me to keep her out of my life.

"She was annoying, anyway."

"She did nothing but betrayed you, Harry."

But my heart was telling me that she needed me.

"You had problems as well."

"You seem to forget that you betrayed her as well."

Leila began to occupy my thoughts even more when she wasn't in my life. I just couldn't help but think about what she could be doing to herself--at once the only joy in my life--what was happening to her.

--

"Harry, are you alright? You've barely touched your meal."

My mother twirled the gold stud in her ear. She instinctively did that when she was worried.

"I'm fine, mom. Dinner's great, but I'm not that hungry."

"Margo, we are finished." My mother called. Our cook, Margo, swiftly picked up our plates and carried them back to the kitchen.

The dinner table was eerily silent.

Ever since my our family instant that we shall not speak of, dinner has been quite lonely. Even though there was someone across from me. Empty. My older sister took over as head honcho, on account if of my mom only wanting to spend money, so she was rarely home. With two empty spots in a setting that seats twelve, dinner was always awkwardly silent. I stared at my mother from across the table. She misses how our family was-laughing, loving, powerful. Now it was just pitiful, a poor excuse for existing.

"Honey, may I ask you a question?" She nervously spoke. Her green eyes matched mine and her turtleneck as she gave me her "sympathetic mum" look. She hesitated, but continued.

"Whatever happened to Leila?" My breath got caught in my throat.

That's the only time my mom ever paid attention to my life-when Leila was in it. While my mom and sister tried to piece this family together, I shut it out.

Tried to completely disassociate myself with it. I acted out. I hated. I loved.

I had Leila.

"She's...around."

"Do you see her at school?"

"Mhm." I lied.

"Do you speak to her?"

"Yeah." I lied once more.

"Alright..." She lied this time.

"Good night, honey."

"Good night, mom." She kissed me on the cheek as she exited to her guest bedroom. Mom hasn't slept in the room her and my father shared since the night before it happened.

"What 'appened to her, Monsieur 'Arry?" Margo came back out of the kitchen. She bent down next to me.

I looked at the closest thing I'd ever had to a mother, right in her sky blue eyes.

"I wish I knew." She could sense the pain in my eyes. She always could.

"Everyteeng 'appens for a reason, Monsieur. Remember that." Her thick French accent always gave her words a deeper, more romantic meaning. That's just how it sounded to me.

"Use th' mindset from wild time fresh 'ear, apply eet to now." She tussled my hair, kissed the cheek opposite the one stained by my mother, and went upon her duties.

Use the mindset I had freshman year.

"Live everyday like its your last."

Apply it to now.

"Everything is painful."

I immediately understood what she was telling me.

I had made many revelations in this huge, sad empty ghost of a house haunted by my father. Life changing decisions. This one was the most important, in my opinion.

Because Leila started to live everyday like her last, all her pain had been transferred to the one she loved.

The only question is--what could possibly have hurt her so much that made her feel this terribly?

Leila, why the hell do all my problems revolve around you?

--

The first step, calling and texting, did not work. Her phone was either off, or sent me to voicemail. Apparently immediately jumping into action was not the right approach. Impulsive reactions never worked out for me in the long run anyway. It caused the two biggest accidents in my life and cost me two important people. One of them was still on this earth-barely. I was going to keep it that way. Somehow. I started devising a plan that night, until I got a frantic call at around midnight that made all past thinking inadequate.

"Harry? This is Beth, Leila's mom. I'm sorry to disturb you, it's just, Leila isn't home yet, and it's a school night. Do you know where she is?"

Sooo I decided to switch to Harry's point of view, he has a background unsaid, and he deserves some explanation.

Bit of a shocker, huh? I live for cliffhangers (: looking to add a couple more chapters this weekend!

Really hope you're liking it! XO