Can't Get Enough

24.

24.

Harry's POV

*one week later*

The news spread quickly.

Her mom was devastated, she quickly moved out of the house and I haven't heard from her since the day after.

Louis said I refused to leave her side for hours, that I almost froze to death. I believe it.

Leila's dad chose to not get the press involved, doing something right for once.

I just don't understand. Louis gave me the letter she was clutching, addressed to me. I couldn't bring myself to read it.

"Styles, are you going with us?" Zayn's voice brought me back to lunch. He was probably talking about that meeting for disorders. After Leila died, we had a huge group intervention. Turns out, we all have bigger problems than addiction. Apparently, Zayn had depression, Jesy was a binge eater, and Perrie cut herself. Liam, Louis and I were the only ones without them (as far as they knew), but Leila impacted us each in different way. We started to hang out outside of school and do things that were legal for once. Today we were at Panera.

"No, I'm just gonna go home. You know...focus on homework."

"You should really read the letter, mate." Louis said to his soup.

"I think it would benefit you."

I shook my head.

"I can't bring myself to right now."

"She wouldn't have wanted to hurt you."

I thought about that. If she wouldn't have wanted to hurt me, then she would've stayed here, with me. The funny thing is, I thought she actually loved me. I was starting to believe someone could accept my love and give it back. Was it because I proposed? Was it because she was depressed? I couldn't help but feel guilty. If only I had gotten there a bit earlier, if only id known-I should've listened more. I should've been more patient. Now my chance was gone. She wasn't coming back.

--

Not having someone to kiss on New Year's is the worst. This hasn't happened since freshman year, but Leila was alive back then.

I didn't celebrate, to say the least. My friends hadn't seen me around much. At all. I just needed time to myself. I didn't want to get her out of my mind, because she would always be in my heart. But I wanted closure. I never left my room--my mom shut me out like she did when my father died. Somehow, my eyes always drew to the letter on my bedside table addressed "My Prince Harry."

Zayn's POV

I decided to stop using in honor of Leila. We all did, assuming Harry was still with us in mind, body, and spirit. So we disposed of everything on New Year's, doing the cheesy "new us" thing. We collectively decided that going cold turkey would be hard, and that we would help each other out. I was a week clean and starting to feel it. Real bad. Depression is really prevalent sober. But that meeting thing really did help. I thought it was gonna be stupid and annoying, but I enjoyed myself.

--

"Mah nem's Zen. And yeah, depression."

I saw some nerds from school there I didn't expect to see, who were just as surprised to see me as I was them.

"Me name's Niall. Bi-polar."

"Michelle. Same."

Those two stuck out to me, I remember seeing them with Leila a lot sophomore year. That Michelle girl looked broken, she obviously knew. She was staring daggers at me, Perrie, and Jesy.

"So, Zayn, what brought you here?" The leader of discussion was this old-ish guy with a bored looking face. He only answered to Uncle Simon. He was ancient-like 50, but had caring and intent eyes.

"Me, my girlfriend and her friend's best friend killed herself."

"That's very upsetting, indeed. Did your depression spawn because of this?"

"um, no. I was diagnosed at 14 when my sister was shot dead."

Perrie squeezed my hand.

Perrie's POV

As Zayn explained his situation, I saw sympathetic looks from everyone except Leila's old friend. Uncle Simon told us that pain reveals our true selves, and not to be afraid of who we were.

"Hi everyone, I'm Perrie. I cut." Three other people raised their hands, showing they did as well.

"I started when everyone around me started dispersing, I thought it was my fault. But I now know that there are people that can care-will you guys care?" Uncle Simon responded

"We will." Some people nodded their heads. Except one.

Jesy's POV

"I'm Jessica, I go by Jesy. I'm a binge eater." A guy rose his hand.

"I've been doing this since I became friends with Perrie. I love her, but look at her. She's a beautiful stick." I saw her pale hand on my leg.

"Jesy, do you think you are beautiful?" Uncle Simon looked genuinely interested in my answer.

I considered lying, but I shook my head no.

"But my boyfriend, Liam, is helping me realize that. But he's got his own problems, yknow?"

"Jessica, I must tell you, you are a striking young lady." Everyone mutually agreed and I felt my insides soar. Everyone except that girl Leila used to sit with at lunch.

"Michelle, your expression is quite negative today. Care to elaborate?"

"They killed my best friend."

Oh.

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