Can't Get Enough

14.

14.

I broke away from my friends, time still at a halt. I approached the delicate figure draped in my t shirt. She fit it like it was made for her, so perfectly. Even though it hung loosely, it fit her like a glove. Stumbling beside her, I messily sat down next to her.

"I'm fucked up." I began.

She didn't respond.

"So I'm not sure how this will come across but...I don't know, L. I've been worried and confused and happy and sad. I'm sorry I still don't have an answer to if I ever stopped loving you, of if I even loved you to begin with. But I do know that I care about you."

Silence. I pressed on.

"Where have you been, L? Who are you? You're starting to live everyday like its your last, and not in a good way."

This time I got her head to move. She looked at me with brown eyes red and a sunken face with aged pain attached. It scared me. What had she been doing?

"L, say something, please."

She blinked. I was so frustrated at this lost soul of a girl I didn't know what to do. Then at last she spoke.

"You. Made. Me. This. Person." Every word shook, with more pain than the last. They were sharp stabs at my heart, and I felt them.

I was appalled. I heard my name being called from the distance but I was so stuck on that thought I didn't move. I couldn't.

"This person...who I am...I hate it." Tears were streaming down her face. She was coming down from a high, even though I could've sworn I took her last stash.

"I used to be something." She looked back out to the open water.

"Now I'm just a memory everyone would rather forget." Her voice cracked.

I didn't know what to say. She tugged at my shirt-still on her back.

"I miss how I made you feel." She whispered.

"L, where have you been?" I wanted to change subjects as quickly as possible.

"How about you stop ignoring my feelings for once? I never ignored yours. Look at where it's gotten me! How about you take my emotions into account? I can't go home because of my father. I haven't seen my mother in days. I'm failing school, and you just don't care." She looked back at me and her expression found me as guilty in full force.

"I just want to know if you're okay." Still trashed, I took time to form my words and not make them sound out of the ordinary.

"It's none of your business." She hastily stood up, just as Perrie and Jesy came over, looking surprised and wasted.

"Leila!! It's been so long!" Perrie went in for a hug even though mere hours ago she was talking shit about her. Jesy did the same, and I saw a tiny light form in Leila's eyes. Something that went dim when she came across me. I turned my attention back to my male friends. Liam and Louis were yelling some words to a song, and Zayn was just sitting, looking up at the stars, then at his girlfriend, then at Leila. I considered talking to him, but things had been salty since our fight and my short temper at lunch. Lucky for me, he beckoned me over and I reluctantly obeyed. Before I got there, he spoke.

"That day you overdosed...I honestly thought I killed you. I never told you. Thought you'd ought a know. I almost lost a brother."

A brother.

He looked back at Leila.

"She almost lost the love of her life."

He looked at me, serious.