Hide and Seek Game
January 8th, 1996
Hi! My name's Johnny and I just got this cool journal. I don't think much use is going to come of it, but I don't want to disappoint mommy, so I am writing this right now! Today was my 10th birthday! I got a new bike and a Nintendo! I was disappointed though because no one showed up for the party besides my mom, dad and sister. I miss my old friends. Ever since I was removed from school they won't talk to me. My mom says they sent letters and I really wanted to read them, but she said she would read them instead for me. They said really nice things! I haven't been sleeping much since I was expelled. I don't like sleep anymore, that's when I see my friend. He scares me sometimes because of how he looks but I know he will always be there to protect me! Like he did at the school!
December 18th, 1996
Mommy keeps worrying about me because I don't sleep. I told her about my friend but she doesn't believe me, she says to stop talking about why I don't go to school anymore. I don't know why. He only protected me. She keeps asking what happens in my dreams and I tell her the same dream over and over, that of just my friend and I playing. She asks about what actually happens in the dreams, and I just say we play hide and seek. The weird part is, I keep waking up in places around my house with things torn up around me; I guess he is getting tired of looking for me.
February 21st, 1997
I turned 11 last month, mommy surprised me, she took me to see a nice man. I see him weekly now, he talks about how my week is and how everything is going, but always turns up on the same question. How is my friend doing. I don't like talking about him though, ever since I have been talking to the nice man my friend is becoming mean. He talks about bad stuff. He says if I keep telling the doctor about him, he will hurt me and my family. I haven't said anything about him anymore. I just talk about some of my old friends, the ones that don't talk to me anymore. The nice man put me on some pills for my sleeping. Lately I haven't been seeing much of my old friend anymore. I don't even dream, I just wake up in my bed, which is a nice new thing since I used to wake in my front yard.
April 28th, 2001
So anyway, turned 15 a few months back, decided to write in this old thing because of some recent... incidents happening. The pills the psychiatrist had given me are slowly starting to become more ineffective. I noticed it last month, when that "friend," no, that fucking thing was back. It was something I could ignore at first; the first 3 days it was just a faint whisper, nothing serious. But the next few days were strange. I only had fragments of dreams, him talking in them in an inhuman way, something straight out of a horror movie but with a much deeper, darker... more evil pitch. The first thing that he said made me want to vomit; all I could hear was him saying in a hushed voice, "Time to play, Johnny." I knew what he fucking wanted, that old hide-and-seek game.
I could almost feel the chunks of vomit sliding up my throat; it was too much and it woke me up in a cold sweat. I decided to keep on the prescribed dosage, but it wasn't helping, I kept hearing him. Each night another number counting down. I was so afraid to see what would happen at 10 when we used to play that I fucking started swallowing these pills like they were candy. Each night I would add another because I could hear him, almost like he was scratching at the door to my subconscious. I am going to run out soon and they won't give me more until next week. I am starting to fear what will happen as I only have 2 bottles left and by the 1st of May I will be out.
April 30th, 2001
I ran out today, I fear what will happen tonight when I go to sleep. I told my therapist about it, how the dreams are coming back, he said there was nothing I could do and if I took anymore pills I could overdose and die. He is surprised I haven't been killed yet. After our talk me and my dad drove home, he hit me today for the pills, but what else could I do? I had to stop the clawing, it was tearing my head apart. And what of him, he had no place to talk, he drank excessively as if it was fucking water. I'm not the one who needs help, when he is the one coping over some shit all the time. Some day I will show him who is the better man. My mom won't do anything though, she just sits and watches him destroy himself. I am sick of this shit, I have to get out of here.
