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(Chase)
There are different types of people who deals differently with pain. Some sit in one corner thinking what they have done for them to experience the pain. Some cry their hearts out thinking it was their fault. Some discourage themselves. Some get depressed. But I'm not one of them. Yes I got hurt. There is no point in denying it but at least I didn't lose hope. I never lose hope.
Yesterday was embarrassing. I've been hurt, yes, and I also got humiliated in front of the basketball varsity. I am used to it, actually. Once Chance made fun of me in front of the school body and it was the talk of everybody in a week. I'm used to it and I should say his friends are used to it as well. I just can't lie that I was so embarrassed yesterday. I wished to vanish that moment but I know it wont happen. And it didn't.
But then again I have an overflowing confidence and faith in myself and to him so here I am walking my way towards Chance. Chance ignored me again that is why he's not seating beside me. Him not seating beside me made the girls looked at me sympathetically with evil in their eyes and mind. I know what kind of ladies they are. Some typical insecure bitch. But they didn't stop me from doing what I want.
We'll be having a three-day tour and our teacher want us to have partners. He said our partner will be the person seating beside us in the bus and the person who will do the activity with us. I want to be partners with Chance. And my other classmates want that too. Because of the the men are already shooting lasers towards Chance but it's obviously not effective. He got girls as his soldiers willing to fight for him.
I made my way towards him and it looked like an idol surrounded by perverted fangirls. It seemed impossible for me to be able to see him face to face. These attention seeker bitches are blocking my way. The girls are all around him and they're touching him. Thank goodness their hands didn't make went to far. If it did I think I will faint. My hand never made their way down there. It will eventually but that's when we're married.
Our teacher didn't mind the mess in our classroom. He's having fun looking at the faces of my classmates who are shocked, mad and looking at Chance unbelievably. He could die any moment now. At least I know what we'll write in his gravestone. He died happy.
Ah! I shouldn't forget about buying Chance a gift. His birthday is next week. And he'll celebrate it while we're in the tour.
"Don't block the way of the wife, will you?!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. The classroom became silent and the girls stopped jumping and fangirling over him. Our teacher also stopped laughing. I shrugged to ease the nervousness I'm feeling. I took a deep breath before I looked into his eyes. I bit my lip before I stood straight.
"Can I be your partner?" I asked him. Thank God I didn't stammer. He would know I am nervous right now and he might reject me. He put his thumb under his chin and his index finger just under his mouth as if he's thinking. He was about to say something but then a bitch interrupted him.
"Everyone go back to your seats." She ordered which my classmates followed. I don't know how the hell she came into our classroom. She doesn't belong here. When she saw me not moving she raised both eye brows before she crossed her arms.
"I said everyone." She emphasized the word 'everyone' but who cares? I do what I want. I say what I want to say. She's not the one who could make me do things against my will. Maybe Chance can but not here. Definitely no.
"You are not the boss of me so stop telling me to do things I don't want to do. And stop raising your thin eyebrows because if I get pissed of, I swear to God, I'll blow your line-like eyebrows." I said and crossed my arms as well.
"Suit yourself." She said as she shrugged her shoulders.
"I'll be you're partner, Gerald." She said frankly. Okay. She didn't ask Gerald but she ordered him. Who does she think she is? She's just his fling!
"Chance?" I arched my eyebrows waiting for his reply. Please say no. Please reject him.
"Tss." Hoe rolled her eyes before she pulled his collar and to my dismay, kissed him. I heard gasps and rumors and whistles. Me? I just stood there awestruck.
It's okay if his fling kissed him and he pulled away. It's okay if he looked away. It's okay if he curse her and bad mouth her. It's okay if he act like an asshole. It is okay. But the thing is, he didn't. His hoe kissed him but he didn't pulled away. He didn't look away. He didn't curse, saying horrible things at her. He didn't act like an asshole. He even closed his eyes and seized the kiss.
And I can't understand why.
Is it still because of what happened yesterday? It cant be.
I walked away controlling the tears that are about to fall from my eyes. I cant let my classmates see how painful it was to me. I want them to see that it didn't matter to me. I want them to see that it's okay. I want them to see I'm strong, I'm okay. Even if I'm not. Deep inside, it is painful. It matters to me because I love him and that kiss is something I wished he would give to me. It's not okay because I love him and seeing him play with another girl makes me want to slap the girl's face. I'm not strong. I'm not okay because it freaking hurts.
Before I leave the classroom I heard Hoe's voice.
"A lesson to you girls is that I only have the right to go with him so walk you ass off and cry like a baby." I know she meant it for me but I didn't talk back. I don't want to cause a scene, that's why. I don't want to humiliate myself more.
Rejection is one of the most painful things you could ever feel. I always get ignored, neglected, and rejected. Always. But no matter how many times he reject me, it still hurts me. No matter how many times he ignore me, I still hope he'll change. No matter how many times he neglect me, I still love him.
