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(Chance)
I became judgmental, yes. I believed what my eyes saw. I judged things with what I just saw. When I opened the restroom door I saw Chase pushing Hoe. And I judged from that. I thought Hoe's the victim because she looked very hurt and she cant even stand on her own. I gave Chase a look which definitely hurt her and I hate myself for that. I hate myself more for not hearing her side and her explanation. Now that I'm with her I'm a hundred percent sure that Chase is the victim. Hoe just got her hair messed up and an ass really beaten up but Chase? She got a really big bruise and a wound. That's why I wont think twice if I say she's cold.
As I watch her eat her food I cant help but to feel bad.
I remember the look on her face earlier. I remember the pain in her eyes when I carried Hoe. Damn. If only she knew how I felt earlier. I wanted to drop Hoe and go back. I wanted to leave that damn cockroach so I can go back and ask her if she's alright. I wanted to hold her face and wipe the tears on her face instead of treating that bitch right. I wanted to take care of Chase.
But I didn't because I think it was the right thing to do. If I go back to her, ask her if she's alright, hold her face and wipe the tears off of her face then it would push me in danger. It would put me in danger where I cant save myself. It would be dangerous because if I did what I wanted to do then the walls I tried to keep will be completely down leaving me with risks and challenges I don't want to face.
That's why I continued walking away with Hoe in my arms and students looking at me as if my action was what they expected. I continued walking until I reached the elevator. I immediately let go of her when the doors are about to close. I left the cockroach with mouth hanging open and a confused face. That's when I realized she can actually stand up and that she was just acting pained earlier. I want to punch my face for letting myself get deceived by a freaking cockroach.
But no matter how many times I tell myself to just stay in the safe zone I always end up being stubborn, doing decisions I might regret soon, things my heart says yes even if my brain definitely says no.
My iron-willed heart brought me back to the restroom where I found Vick worried sick and defeat on Chase's face. It stung my obdurate heart. It fucking did.
"I'm sorry." I said which made her eyes widened. It took a lot of courage for me to say two words I don't usually say. Honestly, I'm not using my brain now. I'm using my heart to say the words my brain refuse to say.
"I'm sorry if I became judgmental a while ago. I didn't let you speak and I hurt you. I'm sorry for doubting you." I added. She blinked her eyes over and over again trying to process the words I'm saying.
"W-what.. What did you say?" I put down the spoon and fork on the table before I pulled my chair towards her. Now we're face to face. I just want her to feel the sincerity and I want her to believe in everything I'm saying. I didn't mean to make her feel uncomfortable. I didn't mean to make her blush but it's okay. It's beautiful.
