Chase & Chances ¦j j k¦

Chapter 32

//Back Off\\

(Chance)

In my twenty four years of existence I can say I experienced different types of pain. I remember crying like a pathetic child because I cut myself when I played tag with my friends. My playmates cried too because they didn't know what to do and I was in panic. Mom appeared that time and I remember how it felt when mom smiled at me warmly and I knew that time I will be fine. She kissed my cut and I felt nice after that. I wish we can just kiss pain away. But who am I kidding, right?

I am selfish. There is no point in denying the obvious. I'm not just selfish because I'm also territorial. I make sure that no one takes what I own. I fight for what is mine and do whatever it takes to mark my territory. It's not that Chase is a trophy or something like that, okay. It's not that. Chase worth more than a golden Olympic medal. She is the very air I breathe and without her I am nothing. See the difference? I obviously cant live without her and that's the reason why I should definitely fight for her. But standing now makes me wonder if I even have the the power to fight.

David, if my guess is right, is nice. He's genuinely nice that it's killing me. He's nice and I feel like I am nothing compared to him. That he's the best choice for Chase. That even if I have a thousand list of women who wants me, the only woman I want wont be mine because I'm not enough and that I am not Dawson, or whatever his name is. And as pathetic as this may sound, I'm feeling insecure. I am threatened. Looking at how he put ointment on her arm makes me wonder if I can do what he's doing right now. Watching and hearing at how he ask her if she's okay makes me ask myself if I belong to her. Looking at them makes me wonder if Chase would look beautiful when I'm with her because she is now sitting next to him. I'm doubting my own self because I feel like there's someone better and I finally met him.

And I'm angry at myself for being the person she doesn't want. Not anymore, I guess. I'm angry because I'm not like him. I'm angry at myself because I had my chance before but I was a jerk and I wasted it. I cant take care of her the way he does. I cant secure her the way he does. I cant love her the way he does. I cant because I'm not him.

I didn't spare a glance at my stylist who made an effort to style my hair up. Instead of thanking her, I approached Chase and Drake. I seriously don't know what I should do. All I know is that I need to take her away from him because the green monster is killing me. I feel like I will explode if I continue watching how sweet Drake is towards her. They are the best example of relationship goals.

"Yeah, bro. Thanks for the concern. You can now put a distance." I looked straight into Drake's eyes and tried to ignore the angry woman beside me.

"Uhm. What the hell?" I pulled her arm and went away. Drake was left no choice but to walk somewhere else.

I guess I really lost my mind because in my madness I kissed her wounded arm. I probably lost my sanity when I did that because to be honest, I kind of hope the pain will ease. Just like what mom used to do when I was a kid. I'm sure I look hilarious when I did that.