2AM Thoughts

What Is Love

I grew up not knowing what love was.

I saw it as a commercialized feeling that everyone had to feel.

I figured, okay so these are my family, I am supposed to love them.

That's the way the world made it look.

As I grew, I became confused on who I truly loved.

My family, I wasn't sure.

They hurt my feelings at times and weren't always there for me.

I didn't know if I loved them.

Call me a terrible person, but no one ever bothered to explain to me what love actually meant.

I pictured it as hearts, cupids, and thank you's.

When I was in primary school, I met a boy.

We were the best of friends for a very long time.

I liked this boy.

I'm pretty sure he liked me.

As we grew closer and closer, I thought I had to love him.

So I told myself and everyone around me that I did.

I switched schools, we lost our connection.

When I came back in elementary school, I liked a different boy.

Once again, I figured I had to love him.

But I didn't truly.

I just liked him.

My entire life I was lying to myself because I didn't know what love actually was.

Then the old boy from primary came back into my life.

I realized that I wasn't faking it with him.

I really did love him.

And to this day. I still do.

He made me find out what love meant.

It means that you'd put that person before yourself, at all costs.

It means that that person makes your day brighter just by a nip of a conversation.

It means that you'd do anything to keep that person in your life.

It means that you want to spend the rest of your days with that person.

That is love.

Love is a feeling.

A very strong one at that.

So stop treating it like a mandatory object in our lives.

I love this boy.

I always have.

I always will.

He taught me to love.

I could never thank him enough for that.