2AM Thoughts

Let Them Know

I pushed past the broken cardboard boxes and hauled some rags out of the way.

I lifted a few cases and found what I was looking for.

In the left corner of my attic, of the house my husband and I lived in, was a safe.

Only I knew about the safe.

I typed in the password and grabbed the case inside it, tightly.

I tore off the strong tape and peeled back the cover.

Overflowing with pictures, birthday cards, love letters, stuffed toys, sweaters, etc.

It was "my first love box".

I grew up in a small town with a boy named Ian.

Ian and I, Erin, were the 'it couple'.

We were in love and lasted for 10 years.

Right through grade 2 to grade 12.

One day as Ian was bringing me flowers, chocolate, you know the usual, for Valentine's Day, he was in a accident.

The car accident killed him.

On Valentine's Day.

I became depressed, anxious and so much more.

I've never road in a car since.

I moved far away to get away from all the pain, well try at least.

After finishing college, I got married to a wonderful man named Jake who I also love.

We have 2 children, Grace and Ian.

Just a name I liked, is what I told Jake.

On Ian's birthday I always come up here and spend hours searching through this stuff.

Jake is always at work.

Ian was my first love.

I'm still in love with him.

You have to listen when they say, you'll always have a piece of your heart for your first love.

It's true.

I had to learn it the hard way.

Hold onto your loved ones, tell them you love them while you have the chance.

They want to know.

They need to know.

They deserve to know.

R.I.P. Ian!