Find Your Way

Chapter Thirty-Three

Althea's POV

I woke up with a heavy head and a sore throat. I can feel the throbbing pain on my head whenever I try to move it. Medyo nahihirapan din akong huminga dahil sa sipon. I stared at the white ceiling of my room and contemplate myself.

I feel like shit today. I thought. I took a glance on the clock on my bedside table and saw that it's only 6:30 in the morning.

I slowly get up from my bed and as soon as the comforter slides down my body, I felt a trembling breeze that instantly shivered my whole being. It was the air coming from the AC because the weather outside is perfect for a Sunday picnic. I immediately went to my closet and grabbed some black hoodie and put it on. I also took one pair of cotton socks to reduce the coldness I'm feeling.

I barely got out of my room because I feel a wincing pain on my joints every time I make a step. Good thing my unit doesn't have stairs because I'd probably crawl just to go down.

As soon as I reach my kitchen, I took some Paracetamol and heat some noodles. Yun lang kasi ang meron ako. Hindi pa ako nakakapaggrocery para magrefill ng mga pagkain at iba pang necessities dito sa apartment. I brew some coffee too para kahit papaano, mainitan yung tiyan ko.

Oh how I hate getting sick. Especially when you are living independently. Kapag nagkakasakit ako, mas lalo kong nararamdaman na mag-isa ko sa buhay. Well, nag-iisa naman na talaga ako kaya dapat sanay na ko pero iba pa din kasi yung may nag-aalaga sa'yo. Kapag ganitong may sakit ako, hindi ko maiwasang mag-isip ng, how I wish she was here.

How I wish Jade's here right now to take care of me. How I wish I can call her name at magpabebe so she can be my personal nurse. My gorgeous personal nurse.

I can't help but to smile bitterly just by imagining it. I miss her. I miss her so damn much I wanted to cry just by thinking of her face. I terribly miss her that I know if I can just hear her voice, it would make me feel a lot better. I miss her so much it pains me. It can brought pain and happiness within me just as she is to my life. My joy and my pain.

Kamusta na kaya siya? Is she happy with David? May anak na kaya sila? Dumadating ba yung panahon na sumasagi din ako sa isip niya? Are there times na nakakaramdam siya ng konting pagsisisi dahil hindi ako yung pinili niya? Naalala niya pa kaya ako o tuluyan na niya kong binura sa isip at buhay niya?

Fuck it. I curse mentally as I felt a pang on my chest just with the thought.

"Mag-move on ka na, Thea. Masaya na yun sa bago niyang pamilya kaya dapat, maging masaya ka na din para sa kanya. Yun naman ang importante di ba?" I whispered. I mentally laugh at myself for talking alone. I'm crazy.

I shook my head to straighten up my thoughts and drank the remaining coffee on my mug. I stood up and prepare the noodles I cooked on a small bowl. Mamaya ko na lang siguro kakainin yung iba para hindi na ko magluluto ng dinner.

I finished my meal then grab a glass of water then bring it to my living room. I thank God that I got sick on my day-off because if not, mapipilitan akong pumasok. I can have a complete rest today.

I opened my television and started scanning for some movies I can watch. The cable I was subscribed onto provides good movies to watch but not for me. Puro romance at love story ang palabas na lalong nagpamukha sa'kin na single ako at bigo sa pag-ibig. It may sound absurd and many of you may think that I am acting so melodramatic but it's true. And my sickness isn't really helping.

So before I lost it, I turned the TV off and stormed out of the living room. I walked straight into my bedroom and decide to take a walk outside to spent my whole day. Medyo maginhawa na rin naman na ang pakiramdam ko dahil sa gamot.