The Greek Bat (NonMythological Version)

Chapter 7: I Should Really Stop Getting Kidnapped

You know that moment that you feel like you're being watched. Next time, I should really pay attention to that feeling because if I had...

Then maybe I wouldn't have gotten kidnapped.

Again!

By the same people!

So here I was, thrown into a van, bag over head, drugs in system, the whole setup. The drugs didn't seem to affect me as much as I remembered how many turns we took, right, left, straight for about 3 minutes (it's hard to tell...ADHD remember), left, right, right, stop?

I was still dizzy from the drugs as the side of the van was thrown open and that annoying voice said, "Mr.J! I got the bugger again! Just like you asked!" and I sighed as I just knew who I was going to see.

Before even stepping out of the car, the bag was thrown off my head and I was met with the crazy, grinny, mad, person named Joker.

"Nice to see you again." I said politely and then winced when a painful tug from my arm hurt my shoulder blade (how tight do they tie these things ouch).

"Did you miss me kid?" Joker asked still grinning like crazy.

"Depends on the day." I said with a shrug then immediately winced from the pull of muscles.

"Are you lying kid?" Joker asked his face trying to show that he was hurt but I knew he wasn't hurt for shit.

"Depends on your definition of lying." I asked tilting my head slightly.

Joker's smile faded for a split second before a grin took the place it normally does as he said, "Not telling the truth."

Giving a soft smile from what I was about to say I just did my best at looking careless and said, "I thought the definition was one reclining himself in a horizontal position." I said and watched as the Joker laugh.

Surprisingly gentle, he took my arm and lead me toward the warehouse again and had me sit in a chair once more (this time more secure I think).

"So, what's with the kidnapping. I didn't think my uncle or Batman pissed you enough to kidnap me twice." I said and reached around for Beck and pressing the alert to send to the Batcomputer again.

"Well, we were rudely interrupted last time, thought we could talk some more kid. Not everyone will take a joke and then send one back. Not to me at least." The Joker said and flashed a smile as the red paint around his lips seemed to stretch.

"What can I say, I joke in the face of possible annihilation of my awesome being." I said grinning a bit deciding to talk to Joker...at least until Bruce got here.

"How old are you kid?" Joker asked leaning back in his chair as Harley went someone doing something probably for Batman.

"I would've thought you've done research before kidnapping me?" I asked avoiding the question.

"I did." Joker said he was still smiling but his tone...seemed more civil than what I have seen and the video clips.

Deciding that it was at least somewhat innocent question I replied, "I'm 10 as you know." I said and watched as Joker nod but his face told me that he really did already know.

"Not many people would tell me their age when captured." Joker said, his tone was that filled with curiosity as I shrugged carefully.

"I'm not most people." I said with a shrug, "If I'm going to be kidnapped, can you at least help me with my homework?" I asked and motioned toward my discarded backpack.

Joker frowned for a moment before shrugging and grabbing my backpack and pulling out the binder that was labeled, Homework.

First he pulled out a math worksheet and I noticed that he was probably just going to read me the questions instead of untying me, fine with me.

"Times table? Really?" Joker asked his tone a bit surprised as I shrugged again.

"Don't ask me, the things are too easy." I said and waited until he looked through them and then dug through my backpack until he had a pencil.

"9 times 8" he asked

"72." I replied easily and relaxed in the seat and stared at the ceiling, only now realizing that Bruce was still probably at Wayne Industries doing some paperwork and wouldn't start looking until an hour passed...might as well get comfortable.

It was 45 minutes later (Thanks Harley for the time updates!) and Joker had already help me finish my math, history, and science homework and was just about to start english before a batarang hit the ropes around that tied my arms together.

Joker turned toward the area where the thing was thrown and grin, "Hey Batsy! Don't mind me, just helping the tike with homework. Gotta get that done sometimes right?" he said and then grinned even more when Robin silently landed on the ground.

"Wonder Bird! Glad you could also make it." Joker said and I frowned a bit when I realized his voice was that of a crazy lunatic and not the guy that I was having a nice conversation with.

I watched as The Dark Knight fell from the rafters and in front of me, effectively blocking me from view, and tensed for a fight.

"Can I have my backpack back." I asked after a few tense minutes (seconds?) went by. Joker's smile seemed to widen especially when Robin and Batman tensed.

Hesitantly I took my backpack and tried not to protest when Robin snatched it from my arms (he probably thought a bomb was in it).

Suddenly the Dark Knight lunged at Joker who just managed to dodge. Before Robin could attack I grabbed his shoulder, "Can we just go home?" I asked/pleaded and rubbed my eyes that felt tired and way beyond my age.

Robin gave me a onceover and narrowed his eyes at Joker before nodding slowly and lead me toward the exit as Batman fought both Joker and Harley (joker who didn't really seem like he was trying).

Robin (now a bit Dick) lead me toward the Batmobile and I couldn't let out the excited noise that came out of my mouth as we climbed in it and I started to mess with the controls (making sure not to make the car start to fly and other dangerous things).

The screen in the middle of the Batmobile suddenly turned on making me jump before I smiled when I saw it was Alfred, "Hey." I waved and then started to mess with other controls around the place.

"Stop." A dark gravelly voice said as he carefully pushed my hands away from buttons and doodads that I wanted to play with.

"But, this is the first proper time I get to see the Batmobile, at least let me start the car up." I asked/pleaded.

When it seemed like he was about to say he sighed and I let out this excited noise and then started to car up feeling quiet proud of myself while ignoring Dick's amused look.

It was a silent way back (after Bruce checking my backpack for bombs) and soon we were at the Batcave and Alfred was just waiting there in all his poshness.

"master Perseus. Did Joker harm you at all?" Alfred asked as he motioned for the examine table.

"Nope." I said happily and practically jumped onto the table. I don't know why, but for some reason just talking to Noncrazy Joker was almost....nice.

"What did he do?" Bruce asked as he peeled away the cowl looking genuine interested.

"We just talked." I said with a shrug, "then he helped me with my homework. He acted, in a way, civilized. Definitely didn't have that crazy voice." I said playing with my hoodie zipper getting seriously distracted.

"Speaking of homework, Alfred could you check over the answers and then help with my English?" I pleadilying asked.

"Why don't you head on up Master Perseus, I will be there in a few. Cookies are on top of the oven, don't have too many."

"What's your definition of too many?" I asked and didn't wait for a response before sprinting upstairs and taking five cookies and sat at the table and pulled homework out.

Today was definitely interesting, I'll give Joker points for that.