Whatever It Takes

1 Week

Whatever It Takes

7

LAUREN

One of the hardest things to hear from your doctor is not being a donor-match to your dying child. It's fucking unfair. I gave birth to her, raised her, made sure she has everything she needed and she wanted. It's not fair.

"Lauren." I heard Camila beside me as I shook my head. "We have to tell him."

"No! We don't." I spat at her as she sighed.

"Don't be stubborn Lauren." She said as I shook my head.

"You don't understand." I whispered looking down my hands.

"Clearly you don't. He is most likely the match, and he is just a freaking phone call or a fucking ticket away. Just that and everything will be okay, and you don't want that?" She was getting aggravated. I am too, but I chose not to lash out. Not today. But Camila was on another level right now. She sounds like a mom. She sounds like me.

"Don't be fucking stupid Lauren." As soon as those words slipped out of her mouth, her face turned from anger to sorrow.

I can handle this situation in 2 ways. One having to lash out on her, the Lauren Jauregui way. But I'd rather talk it out with her, no anger, no anything, the Camila Cabello way. Clearly, she's frustrated too, and she's not herself right now. I mean I am, but I think I'm getting used to dealing with these things about Luna.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to say that." She quickly said as I nodded my head, running my hands to my hair. This day would probably be one of those days when you just wanted to give up, you know. Life throws shit at you, and you know for the fact that you're not capable of controlling it.

"It's okay." I said as I made my way inside the room, leaving her outside. Mani and Ally were preparing the food on the table, as both of them looked up at me. I don't know if I'll greet Mani or not, but Ally made her way to me, squeezing me in a tight hug.

"Babe. Come and eat some dinner and go rest up." She scolded me, pulling me to the food. Camila came in the room. Her eyes were puffy, and I'm sure she was just cried.

"Come on, Mila. We bought you spaghetti." Mani said as Camila shook her head, sitting on her lap.

"I'm not hungry." She whispered softly as I grabbed my own serving of pasta. I'm starving.

"Does your back feel okay? Do you need pain killers?" Ally asked me as I took a bite off my pasta.

"I'm okay. You guys should head home. You had a long day too." I smiled politely. "I really don't want to bother you guys off of your crazy schedules."

"Lauren..." Ally sadly said.

"You shouldn't even bother helping me anyways." I sighed. "You too Camila. I'll find a way to pay you for everything. Even if I had to sell my self or something." I shook my head, looking down my food. "I'll pay you as soon as possible." I looked up at Camila, smiling sadly at her.

"Lo. Come on. We talked about this." Camila said, her voice shaking.

"I'm causing trouble on your part, guys. I don't want to get you too involved. I left in the first place, there was a reason why I left, and that was not to get you guys involved, and look where I am right now." Oh gosh, my emotions are all over the place. I feel a lump in my throat. "I don't want to cause you girls trouble. Can we just go back to not knowing a shit about me." My tears started falling as I wiped them away with the sleeve of my sweater.

"Can't you just accept the fact that you need help, Lauren? You fucking need help!" That was Camila, again with her aggravation.

"Hey tone it down a little bit." Ally softly said.

"Lauren, you're our sister. Ofcourse we want to help you." That was Mani talking now as I looked at her confused. She was practically ready to leap on me just a few hours ago. What changed?

"Mani, please. Don't pretend you want to help." I shakily said shaking my head. "Please just leave us alone. Please just go?" I pleaded looking at them, my tears falling from my eyes.

I need to think. I need to think of my next steps.

--

CAMILA

She pleaded for us to leave so I did. I need to give her space, 'cos the day's already getting into me. I didn't even think that Lauren was used to making decisions of her own. She's been away for us for 3 years, and I need to accept the fact that she doesn't need for me to make decisions for her. But this is for Luna. Her daughters health. You'll do whatever it takes to make sure your child's okay, right?

"Camila, Shawn called making sure you get in a flight to New York. I mean we both need to be in New York." Nat said I walked in her hotel room.

"I need some wine." I said lying down the bed, covering my face.

"I don't think that's a good idea considering--"

"Nat, what am I gonna do?" I cried as she walked closer to me, taking off my shoes and my jacket. She pushed me under the covers as I obeyed her.

"You're going to sleep, and get in the flight to New York tomorrow to finish your album, okay?" I shook my head as she sighed. "Yes. You are. Shawn will kill me, and I would want to live a couple more years if you're concerned."

"But Lauren?" I said, my eyes drooping.

"I will take care of Lauren, okay? A week in New York. I'll be here with Luna and Lauren to make sure they're both fine." She countered as I nodded my head.

The following day, I got in my flight to New York. I have to let Lauren be, and let her make her decisions on her own. That's what she said, and I respect that. I just miss the little one  so much.
--

Hours turned into days turned into a week. I've been in New York for a week, and I'm finally on my way back to Texas to visit Luna and Lauren. I missed them, so much.

Lauren hasn't talked to me the past week, but I get updates from Nat on how they're doing. They're still in search for a donor, but they're already starting Radiation. Lauren hasn't contacted her family, or Nick's family, and it's upsetting. I mean I know I don't have a say in her life decisions but she's holding back on the biggest answers to our questions.

"What's the room number?" I asked Nat who met me at the lobby.

"Mila, it's not a good time to be there." Nat said wincing as I glared at her. "Luna's having a tantrum, and Lauren didn't get much sleep last night so she's cranky. It's not helping that Luna's pretty weak today, 'cos of her medication." Nat explained as I looked at her sadly.

"I still want to see them." I sighed as she led me the way to Luna's private room.

It was quiet when I reached the door, but as soon as I opened the door, I heard Luna whining.

"No!"

"Luna, please." Lauren sighed, standing beside Luna's bed, holding on a wet cloth. "This will make you feel better."

"Mama!" Luna said looking up at me as Lauren just shook her head, not noticing my presence.

"Luna, she's Camila. She's not your Mama." Lauren sighed. "And she's not here, for the hundreth time." Lauren groaned, trying to put the towel on Luna's head. The little girl wasnt having it, and pushed Lauren's hand away.

"No! Mama!" Luna said again lifting her fragile arm up. "Mama!" She was crying now, looking straight into my eyes. She reminds me of the young Lauren I was with at 2012. The young and fragile Cuban that was homesick all the time.

"She's not here, okay!" Lauren raised her voice, scratching her head as I saw her daughter look at her in horror.

I walked to the bed, pulling the 2 year old in my arms as she sobbed in my neck loudly. She was shaking as I looked at Lauren sadly, shaking my head.

"Camz is here now. Everything's gonna be okay." I whispered to her ear.

---