22 • Kim Jongin

Chapter 8

• JONGIN'S POV •

I couldn't sleep properly in the following night. I was always thinking of Hyuna.

I felt Jjanggu jumping on the bed and lying down next to me. I tickled his ear and took a deep breath. "You know? I don't even want to fight with Hyuna. I hope she can understand me. At least a little bit." I whispered towards the dog and gulped. I had a little lump in my throat whenever I thought about how often we fought. "Hyena is a great girl." I said. "I just want her to be happy, but cleaning day in day out can't make someone happy. She can't be happy, can she, Jjanggu?" I asked the toy poodle but he didn't made a sound because he already fell asleep. I smiled and played with the dog's ears. "I like her. I like-like her." I said before I closed my eyes and tried to sleep as well.

The next morning I had breakfast with Junmyeon. After eating I went back home. "Good luck. Everything's going to be just right." Junmyeon had told me before I left. I took a deep breath and decided to not buy flowers today. 

I was very nervous when I walked closer to the front door and fumbled with the key in my hands, before unlocking the door and finding everything how I left it yesterday. The house was dead silent. I couldn't find Hyuna anywhere. Maybe she was still sleeping. I walked quietly towards our bedroom and found Hyuna rolled up on her side of the bed. The quilt was pulled up to her nose but I realized how reddened her eyes were and I saw the make-up stains on the pillow. Did she cried herself to sleep last night?

I fekt guilt washing all over me and stroked her hair carefully. Then I left the bedroom. I wanted to let her sleep peacefully. It seemed like she didn't had a good night either. I walked into the kitchen and started to prepare a soup for Hyuna and I. I was glad that Chanyeol taught me how to cook this soup.

I was tasting the soup when I heard steps coming down from the stairs and saw Hyuna walking into the kitchen – rubbing her eyes. She sniffed and stopped in her tracks when she saw me standing in the kitchen.

"You're back." She stated and sounded like she was going to cry any second. I nodded. "Yes. Breakfast is almost ready." I said and she sat down. I filled a bowl with soup for her and gave it to her. "Enjoy your meal." I said and smiled weakly. I couldn't imagine how Hyuna was feeling when I told her I wasn't coming home. 

"I think we have to talk." I said and Hyuna looked at me. Her brown eyes swollen from all the crying she did yesterday. "We should." She said and shoved a spoonful of soup in her mouth. "I've been thinking a lot last night." I said and she looked at me. "Me too." she answered coldly. "I think we still have to learn a lot about this marriage thing." Hyena said and I nodded. "I think we only have to learn one thing." I bit my lip.

Only now I realized how fragile Hyuna actually was. I gulped and hoped she wouldn't explode when I told her what was on my mind. "What do we have to learn?" She asked furrowing her brows. Suddenly her face relaxed when she realized what I was attempting to say.

"Love?" She asked unsure and I nodded. "Yes. We have to learn to love each other." I said and my heart started beating even faster. I wasn't sure if Hyuna and I were able to learn to love each other how we were behaving right now.

"That's not the answer to our problem though, Jongin." She said and rubbed her temples. "The problem is that you want to force me to do something that I don't want to do." She said calmly. My breath hitched. "I am not forcing you." I said trying to keep calm as well. "I want you to be happy and I can't imagine that you're happy when you clean the whole day. I don't want a cleaning lady, I want a wife with whom I can watch DVDs when I come home from work. I want a wife with whom I can joke and..." The lump in my throat made it hard to speak and I looked on to my empty soup bowl. "I want a wife with whom I can sit on the couch–cuddling–and ask her about her day without her telling me how she cleaned the whole house–again." I didn't realized that I started crying like a little boy when I tried to cough the lump away, but it just got worse.

Hyun looked at me. Her brown eyes glossy from the tears that were on the verge of falling. She chewed her bottom lip and looked like she was trying hard to keep the tears from falling. "I... I..." She tried but then she bursted out in a crying mess and I hated seeing her that way. I pushed my chair back–causing it to fall on the floor and walked over to her pulling her in my arms.

My heart didn't wanted to stop beating anymore and my tears didn't wanted to stop either. "Don't cry." I whispered quietly. "I never meant to make you cry, Hyuna." I didn't understand why I was whispering though. "It's... It's..." Hyuna started again but was interrupted by her loud sobs. "I didn't understood your point." She confessed. "I wanted to be a perfect wife but... but..." She was interrupted by a wave of tears and hid her face in my shirt. I didn't knew what to do, because I never saw her in this state and this was something completely new for me as well.

"Stop crying. I don't like seeing you hurting that much." I said quietly and thought about how much prettier Hyuna was when she was smiling. "I am so sorry that I was acting like a little child." She whispered and I stroked her hair. "It's okay, I wasn't acting like a gentleman either." I said and she smiled and looked at me.

"I am happy that you're back home." Hyuna said and smiled. "I'm happy to be back as well." I said and tried making her some hope. At the same time I tried to give me some hope as well.