22 • Kim Jongin

Chapter 11

I patted Jongin, who was still coughing, on the back. "Eomma? Children?" I asked and looked helplessly to my Father. He was looking at his hands. Great help, Appa.

Jongin slowly calmed down. He took a deep breath and opened his mouth only to close it a second later. Then he started blinking like crazy. Kind of a cute reaction to be honest.

"Eomma! I can't get pregnant now!" I said and started blinking almost as quick as Jongin. "I can't even look after myself properly, how am I supposed to look after a child?" I tried again but my mother was stubborn. Too stubborn. Everything I said went past my Mother and whenever she wanted something she was determined to get it.

Jongin looked at my mother, thoughtfully. He was totally calm and I evied him for his inner peace. I could only feel the hint of nervousness when he took a deep breath and started to speak with a shaky voice.

"I can believe you want a grand child." He started, scratching his nape, "but it is not possible for me to think about children at the moment. I'm not home that often and have a busy schedule. I don't want to let Hyuna alone with our children at home. And I don't want a child to be the reason for Hyuna not to study." He said and my Mother was stuck to his lips like glue. Jongin knew exactly how to speak to my Mother.

My Eomma's face lit up and she smiled a little. I smiled at Jongin, thankfully that he rescued the situation with his clever chosen words. I really thought my Mother understood that we weren't able to get children in the near future.

We didn't even had a real relationship, how would we be able to have real children?

"Mianhe, I didn't mean to be so intrusive. Jongin you are of course right. I shouldn't force you to get children now because you two would know when it is the best time for that." She said and I knew that she had to take all her courage to say these words.

Jongin and I nodded, unable to say anything.

After the dinner my parents left and I let myself fall on the couch, tiredly. I wasn't that tired in a long time. All this time when I was living  with my parents I didn't realise how exhausting they were - especially my Mother. I groaned and stretched, while Jongin cleaned up the table. Then he went into the kitchen to pack his lunch box as he had to go to work at night. Jongin was so diligent.

"Are you coming?" He asked when he was standing infront of the couch and had his hands on his hips. "I still have some hours." He said and gave me a crooked half smile. I giggled and stood up following him into the bedroom. We jumped into our Pyjamas and laid down with Jongin. He giggled when he saw the picture on the night stands. "They match us."  He said honestly and made himself comfortable. When he was comfortable I cuddled up to him. He wrapped his arm automatically around my waist and pulled me even closer. "Good night." he said softly and I closed my eyes.

I couldn't fall asleep properly because I had a horrible dream. I breathed out and clenched my hands into Jongins shirt. I felt Jongin move. "What's wrong? You can't sleep?" He asked and I could only nod. "I had a nightmare." I confessed and buried my face in Jongins chest. I tried to get rid of the pictures from my children and my Mother as evil Grandmother in my hand. Jongin patted my my waist and started to sing quietly. It was an EXO song. I remembered the name and recognised it as First Love. Yeonhee showed it to me one time but I wasn't sure. I had to check it tomorrow.

I never heard Jongin sing that often so I enjoyed every single second of it. His raspy, sleepy voice made a shiver run down my spine and I felt myself drifting to sleep.

When I woke up Jongin was already gone. I walked down the stairs and looked on my phone for the song Jongin sang for me yesterday and I was right. It was First Love. I liked the song but Jongin's sleepy version was much better - because it was only for me.

After the breakfast I took a shower and got dressed. I braided my hair when I heard the doorbell. I walked to the door and sighed knowing I had to deal with my parents by my own today. I hoped they wouldn't ask me about children again.

I decided to make a small Seoul tour with my parents. They had a holiday home in Seoul, but they never went here because I was born.

"Good morning. Should we go?" My parents asked and I nodded and took the leashes for the three poodles.

We were on our way to the subway when my Mother took my wrist and pulled me a little bit away from Appa. "Is everything alright between Jongin and you?" She asked and looked concerned. "Yes. Why do you ask?" I asked and wondered why my Mother was so uncertain. "The two of you seem so unbalanced and far away from eachother." She said and I furrowed my eyebrows. "I don't know what you mean?" I said and clenched the leashes in my hand. Appa turned around to look at us but looked back to Monggu, whom he was holding. He liked the poodle.

"Like I said. You two seem so far away from each other. When were you two on a date the last time?" She asked and I sighed. "Going out is difficult because we need to be careful with the paparazzi, Eomma. But we spent a lot of time together." I answered honestly and my Mother seemed happy with that answer.

Sadly I couldn't get rid of the thought that Jongin and I seemed so unbalanced next to each other. Did we not look good together?

My parents and I sat down in a small Coffeeshop close to the S.M Entertainment building. Jongin would meet up with us when he had a break. He wrote me a message that he was on his way to meet us and a few minutes later he came around the corner and smiled at my parents. He bowed and looked around before sitting down and shortly put his hand on my thigh. Before I could even think about the skinship, his hand was sadly already gone.

"Did you had a good day?" He asked my parents and I saw how tired he was. My parents nodded happily and my Appa talked about how well behaved his dogs were.

After Jongin also ate his cake we brought my parents to the station and said goodbye from them. Tired and exhausted we went home when we heard a click. Jongin froze next to me. He had heard the click as well. I felt myself getting anxious. "Hyuna, calm down. We haven't done anything suspicious. We haven't make out or stuff. Don't worry." Jongin calmed me down.

I waited weeks for the picture to get published, bt nothing happened. It wasn't too risky for the Netizens. Jongin and I still were very cautious.