Poems For Daniel

Six

The thought of Daniel weighed heavy on my head all week long... If he was still alive, where would he be? I sat the foot of my bed... It was Friday night, and I had no homework this weekend, surprisingly... But, I feel like I should be doing something... I'm trying to refrain from thinking about Daniel or where he could be, but I can't help. As soon as he's out of my train of thought, he sneaks back in again. I sighed. I just hope I can get him out of my head before my date with Jeremy... I don't want him feeling like I'm not paying attention to him because of Daniel running circles in my head... Maybe if I just do this one more time, and get a little closer into figuring out where he could be, he'll be out of my system for the weekend... I shook my head. "No, Safaree. Take your mind off of him," I thought.

I stood and walked toward my book shelf. "Let's just read a book," I sighed. I picked a random book that was thick enough to keep my mind off of Daniel, but when I took a closer look at it, I realized it was the little journal that I kept my poems in. "Noo," I whined. Part of me, wanted to reread my poems. Maybe, there'll be clues as to where he could be. The other part of me was reluctant and hesitant. "Fuck it," I mumbled, cracking open the book. Some poems looked like they had been ripped up and taped back together while shredded pieces of paper fell out. Who could've done this to my book? I soon grew a bit angry and a bit aggravated. "What did I do for someone to do this to my property?" I inquired. The more I thought about it, the angrier I became. I picked up the shredded scraps and took that along with the book toward my mother, who was making dinner, in the kitchen. "Ma!" I called. "Yes?" she spoke, not looking at me. "What happened to my book?" I held up what I had in my hands. "Oh, wow... I don't know, Safaree. I wasn't around your books...You might want to ask Serene. She put all the books on your shelf," she replied. "Thanks, Ma," I mumbled before leaving the kitchen.

I was livid when I heard Serene's name. I took a deep breath and calmed myself down before approaching her closed bedroom door. I stood for several moments after knocking. I knocked again, and waited several moments again. I ended up banging on her door before she finally popped out of her room. "What do you want?" "Did you mess up my book?" I inquired. "Girl, ain't nobody worried about your damn book," she began closing the door. I stopped the door before it could close. "I'm serious, Serene," I spoke. "I'm serious too, Safaree. Now, get away from my door," she began slamming the door in my face. I stopped it again. "It didn't shred itself, Serene," I spoke. "And what makes you think I did? she asked. "I'm not saying that you---." "What are you saying then?" she questioned. "I'm just asking if you did," I replied. "And I'm just telling you that I didn't. Anything else?" she spoke. I looked down and shook my head. "Good," she nodded, beginning to close the door again. "Actually, Serene," I spoke, still looking down. I could see the door open again. "I'd appreciate if you didn't talk to me like--." "Like what?" she stepped closer towards me. "Like you hate me or something," I replied, finally looking up at her. "And what if I do?" she smirked and crossed my arms. "Y-You don't mean that," I shook my head, my anger only rebuilding. "Sureee, I don't," she nodded, sarcastically speaking. "Why are you such a bitch?" I shouted. "The same reason Daddy left us! Because of you!" she yelled back. Never, in my whole life, have I ever swung on someone so quickly and so hard. We began to tussle and after a few good hits and punches from the both of us, Momma pulled us apart...

About an hour later, after my busted lip, cuts, and bruises were healed to the best of their abilities, I began getting ready for bed. I rarely think about my father, seeing as though I've done fine without him since the age of four. I never questioned why he left, but I guess I know the reason now, huh? I curled up under my bed covers and cried silent tears until I was indulged into a deep slumber... I awakened the next day, in the early afternoon hours. I looked over at my phone, seeing that I had a text from Jeremy.

"What time should I swing by?" it read.

"I'll be ready in an hour," I replied.

I sat up and stretched before walking into the bathroom, where I began getting ready for the upcoming day. I got washed up, lotioned up, and dressed before beginning to do my hair. I did something simple before putting on my camouflage jacket and a pair of Vans. I took another look in the mirror, putting makeup over a bruise that I had on my cheek. Once I was ready, I grabbed my purse and put it on across my body. I stepped out of my room, spotting Serene coming out of her room, out of the corner of my eye. I rolled my eyes before walking down the hall and toward the kitchen, where I began making myself a bowl of colorful cereal. "Hey, Safaree," I heard my mother's voice greet me. "Hey, Ma," I smiled slightly. There was an awkward silence between us before she spoke again. "What Serene told you isn't true, you hear me? I don't know why she told you that--." "It's okay, Momma... It's fine," I dismissed whatever she was about to lie about. I know what Serene told me was true, and I'm okay with it. I've accepted it. I mean, it's not just a coincidence that he left before I could even have a legit memory of him.

"Safar--." The sound of the doorbell ringing interrupted her... She sighed and pursed her lips while taking one last look at me before speaking again. "We'll talk about this later." With that, she left the kitchen to get the door. I grabbed a spoon and began eating my cereal. "Safaree, someone's here for you!" my mother called. I put down my bowl of cereal along with my spoon and walked toward the front door. There, I saw Jeremy standing alongside my mother. He smiled once his eyes were set on me. "Hey, Baby girl," he spoke, beginning to hug me. "Hey, Jer (pronounced Jear) Bear," I smiled slightly as he kissed my forehead. "Ma, this is Jeremy," I introduced him. "Ohh. This is Jeremy!" she smiled as they shook hands. "Nice to meet you, Ma'am," he smiled. "Likewise... I'll just leave you two alone," my mother spoke before leaving the room. Jeremy smiled at me. "Are you ready to go?" he inquired. "Yeah, let me just finish my cereal," I answered. "Aight," he nodded. I walked back into the kitchen, Jeremy following behind me. I ate the remainder of the cereal and drank the leftover milk before placing the bowl and the spoon in the sink. I turned towards Jeremy, who had a developing smirk on his face. He grabbed a napkin from the counter. "Milk moustache," he mumbled with a smile while wiping my mouth.

My cheeks turned a slight red as I watched his smile decrease. "What happened to your lip, Baby girl?" his eyebrows furrowed. "Nothing," I shook my head and looked away from him. "Don't lie to me, Safaree. Did someone do this to you? You know I'll put somebody in check, in a heartbeat. Just tell me--." "No, Jeremy. It's okay... It's okay," I told him. I touched his jawline gently and caressed his face slightly. "I'm fine. I promise," I reassured him. He took my hand into his and intertwined our fingers before kissing my forehead. "You may be fine, but I'm not... Please tell me what happened," he nearly pleaded. He looked into my eyes so deeply that I felt almost transparent to him. "Me and my sister got in a fight," I mumbled, looking down. He sighed. "How did that happen?" he inquired. I half-shrugged. "Make sure it doesn't happen again, aight?" he spoke firmly. I looked at him as if he was crazy. "I can't have my baby battered when she's in my arms," he touched my cheek with a slight smile. I blushed and let out a high pitched giggle. "You are too much, Jeremy," I spoke, trying not to smile so wide. "You haven't even seen the half of it... This is only the beginning," he kissed my cheek.

My cheeks burned red as he looked down shyly. "You look pretty today," he mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. "Aw, you look nice too," I smiled while tugging on both ends of his open camouflage jacket. "We both have our camo on," I commented while pulling him closer toward me. He looked down at me, looking a bit dazed. "I can't wait to kiss you... Even if you do have a busted lip," he smirked. A laugh slipped from my lips. "What are you waiting for?" I inquired. He smiled broadly while blushing slightly. "I'on know," he shrugged, grinning. I laughed before taking his hand into mine. "Let's go," I spoke, pulling him towards the front door. "Bye, Momma!" I called before leading Jeremy out of my home and closing the door behind us.

"Where are we going again?" I asked as we walked toward his black Jeep. "Don't worry about it, Ma," he answered.

"Just enjoy the ride," he simply spoke.