Poems For Daniel

Twenty-One

The next two weeks were tough without Jeremy, especially since I didn't have anything to pass the time. Homework was done in half an hour's time, majority of the time, and Mancala was becoming boring. Journey kept me company, but she only made me feel like an awful human being. She wasn't beating in my head that I was horrible, but with her endless questions on Daniel and Jeremy, I couldn't help but feel awful. "How is it actually possible to be in love with two people?" she would ask. To be honest, I don't know how it's possible. Honestly, I feel like the only way it's possible is when you're falling out of love with one and into love with the other... If anything, I was falling deeper in love Jeremiah... I just don't know how I'm feeling about Daniel any more. I sighed... "You never stop loving your first love," I mumbled to myself as I reorganized my book shelf.

The house was basically empty with exception of Serene and I. Serene hasn't been much of a bitch lately. I just assumed that she was too caught up in college work and her boyfriend, Joshua... "Safaree," I heard a voice call my name from the doorframe of my room. I looked up to see Serene. "Where's Ma and Journey?" she inquired. "Ma took Journey out for ice cream and shopping," I replied. "Well, Josh is coming over and bringing food. Do you want anything?" she asked. I raised an eyebrow. Is Serene attempting to be nice to me? "Uh, sure," I answered more as if it were a question. "Do you want a milkshake too?" she inquired. I nodded. She walked out of the room.

"That was weird," I mumbled to myself while continuing to alphabetize the books. About fifteen minutes later, the doorbell rang. Several moments after, my name was called. I sighed before making my way into the kitchen, where they were. "I got you the same thing Serene got, if you don't mind," Joshua smiled at me. "They actually got me something? Serene actually told him to get me this?" I thought. "Thanks," I smiled slightly. "Oh, and here's your milkshake," he handed the cup and spoon to me. They began unwrapping their meals and things as I made my way back to my room. I wasn't even around the corner before I heard my name being brought up. "Yo, what's up with Safaree?" Josh asked. I stood behind the wall that seperated the kitchen and the hall that led to bedrooms and began eavesdropping. "Her boyfriend can't come around anymore," Serene replied. "Well, why not?" he asked. "They were caught doing...you know what," she answered. "Damn... You're taking it easy on her, right?" he asked. "Of course! I wouldn't want even my worst enemy fucking with me when I can't see the person I love most," she answered. There was a brief silence... "She loves that boy, Josh," she sounded like she was shaking her head. "What makes you so sure?" he inquired. "You've never seen the way she looks at him. You've never seen the way they are together... You've never seen how happy they look when they see each other," she replied...

I released a silent sigh before returning to my bedroom. I sat on my bed and began eating while turning on my television. I just recently received my television back, and I'm probably not getting my phone back until Christmas or something... I sighed again. "I miss Jeremiah," I muttered while eating and drinking the remainder of my milkshake. There was a knock at my door. I looked up to see Joshua. "Hi," he smiled slightly. "Hi," I repeated. "Um... I'm sorry about what happened," he said. "Nah, don't even sweat it. I was just being dumb," I shook my head. "It's not being dumb when you love someone," he replied while sitting on my bed awkwardly. I sighed. "I can't even see him now... I can't even talk to him, and I miss him like crazy," I said. "Who said you can't go see him?" he asked. "My mom took my car keys a few nights ag--." "Who. said. you. can't. go?" he repeated more slowly while holding up his car keys. My eyes widened. "Josh--." "I don't want to hear it, Safaree. You're going to take my car and go see that boy. Got it?" he said. I nodded. He put the keys in my hand. "Don't drive too recklessly, aight?" he said. "Thank you so much! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" I hugged him tightly. I began to leave the room, but then I turned to face him. "Josh?" He looked up at me. "Why do you care so much?" I asked. "Let's just say that, uh... Serene and I have been through a lot together," he winked. I smiled at him before walking down the hall and toward the front door. "Hold up. Where are you going?" Serene asked. "I'm going over Jeremiah's," I answered, praying she wouldn't tell Mom. She stared at me for a couple of seconds before finally speaking. "I'll cover for you." "You will?" I inquired. She nodded with a slight smile. "Oh, Thank you! Thank you so much, Serene!" I hugged her. She hesitantly hugged me back, patting my back in the process. With that, I left and made my way to Jeremy's house...