Unspoken

letter 02

02 / letter to your crush

Dear Finn,

I’m not really sure how to write this letter without sounding like a total love struck puppy, but here goes nothing.

I fancy you.

I really really fancy you.

Seeing you makes me nervous, like extremely nervous, that nervous feeling where your hands get sweaty and your cheeks grow warm and you feel like you might throw up because there’s a gazillion butterflies in your tummy.

Yeah, that type of nervous.

Can you blame me for it though?

You’re the cutest boy I’ve ever laid my eyes on.

You’re cute on the inside too. It would help if you were good-looking but you were the biggest jerk ever but no you just had to be the nicest guy ever, like last week, I crashed into you in the hall because I’m such a spaz and I never pay attention to anything, all your books went flying and your papers were scattered everywhere and you should have gotten upset like most guys in our school would, but you didn’t, you told me it was okay, and I know it wasn’t a big deal to you, but it was to me.

It was just like freshman year where your girlfriend at the time, Blair, made fun of me because I had glasses and braces and according to her I looked like a total geek but you stepped in and defended me, you told her to back off, the next week you had broken up with her.

That meant a lot to me Finn.

We’ve been in the same schools since 2nd grade Finn, but you’ve never been interested in me. Sure, we’re friends but you could never think of me as more than that.

Sometimes you call me Dorky Olivia, not in a mean way, in fact, I should be offended but I’m not, it’s the way you smile at me when you say it that makes me feel like it’s a compliment.

I hate how nervous and tongue-tied I get around you Finn, it’s like the minute you walk in the room, I’m a blubbering mess and I don’t know what to say or how to act. I have this permanent blush on my face and I look like a tomato, and sometimes the girl next to me will ask “why are you blushing Olivia?” and I won’t know what to say but in my mind I know the answer, and I blame you Finn, I blame you.

I love how tall you are Finn, it’s my favorite thing about you. You’re the tallest boy in our school and my 5’2 is nothing compared to your 6’5. And sometimes I don’t see you while walking down the halls because I forget to look up, that’s how tall you are Finn, and I love it.

Sometimes I imagine how things would be if you did think of me as more than a friend and the thought makes me sad because I always think you deserve better, I think you deserve someone like Alva Wester, the pretty Swedish girl in your US History class or Camila Garcia, the girl that every boy wants to date and she wants you and only you. They’d make you happy Finn, I could never make you happy. And, the only thing I want is for you to be happy. I guess that’s why I’m okay with letting you go.

Because I want the best for you, and I know the best will be a girl who you can take home to your parents, one that makes you smile on the worst of days, one who isn’t a wreck with family problems and too many fake smiles.

I really hope you find that girl Finn, and I hope she appreciates you and cherishes you because she’s lucky Finn.

So so lucky.

Love,

Olivia xoxo

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