The Chasing Game (Game Series 1)

Chapter 16

Selfish

Ganito pala ang feeling ng liniligawan ka everything seems so colorful yung tipong para kang lumulutang sa kilig at sa saya. Noon cheesy lines and cheesy moves pissed me off akala ko noon kababawan lang ang lahat ng iyon just plain teenage hormones. Yung tipong nasusuka ka kapag nakakakita ka ng nag P-PDA o di kaya nagliligawan sa harap mo, pero sabi nga nila you'll understand it once you feel it. Nakakatuwa kung paano baguhin ng feelings at experience ang pananaw ng isang tao it could change you instantly without noticing it. People say that love is the most powerful thing in this world pero sa tingin ko ay mali sila, its not the love it's the feelings and experience actually hindi lang naman love ang kayang makapagpabago sa isang tao it also includes anger, pain and hatred which in generally are feelings, feelings that you been experienced.

"Hi, Sue good morning" bati ko kay Sue ng makita ko siya sa classroom namin, nagulat ako ng inirapan niya ako at ibinaling ang kanyang atensyon sa harapan na para bang wala siyang nakita o narinig man lang. Seriously what is her problem.

"Whats the problem Sue? " hinila ko ang braso niya paharap saakin. She shoot me dead glares kaya mas lalong kumunot ang noo ko sakanya, ano bang problema niya.

" Talk to me when you're already telling me the truth" at pagkatapos noon ay tinalikuran niya ulit ako. Dahil dun ay nanlumo ako alam niya na kaya ng tungkol kay Austyn, no it couldn't be. Hindi niya pwede malaman iyon lalo na sila. Buong klase ay yun lang ang laman ng utak ko ni hindi ko na nga naisipang kumain ng lunch mabuti nalang at nanjan si Austyn to remind me everything.

Pagkatapos ng klase ay napag desisyunan kung makipagkita sakanya I'd rather ask his opinion about this hanggang ngayon ay nagtatalo pa rin sa isip ko kung aamin ba ako kay Sue o hindi, siguro naman ay wala pa siyang alam tungkol saamin dahil kung meron ay malamang nakarating na ito sakanila at sumugod na iyon dito sa Pilipinas o baka naman ay may alam na siya at nananahimik lang siya to protect me. Ghad I'm so guilty about this hindi ko alam na ganito pala ang feeling ng maging mainlove everything seems so complicated. Nauna ako sa may Park kung saan namin Napagdesisyunan na magkita. Pagkakita niya saakin ay lumapit agad siya pulling me into a hug kahit kailan talaga tong si Austyn feeling boyfriend na kung umasta pero kahit ganun ay gumaan ang pakiramdam ko dahil sa ginawa niya.

"Whats the Problem, bakit hindi ka kumain ng lunch mo kanina?" nagaalala niyang tanong saakin. Hanggang ngayon ay nakapulupot parin ang braso niya sa bewang ko habang ako naman ay nakaharap sakanya. I pursed my lips into a smile I like how he always cares for me how he held me like I am so fragile. Bago pa ako maka sagot ay may nginuso siya saakin, dahil doon ay napalingon ako.

Nakita ko si Sue na naka tayo sa di kalayuan saamin masamang tingin ang ipinukol niya saakin ng nagtama ang tingin namin. Pagkatapos nun ay agad din siyang tumalikod at naglakad papalayo ohh great look want I've done now were caught, pa galit ko sa sarili ko. Pagkatapos nun ay agad kong iniwan si Austyn at kaagad na sinundan si Sue. Nakarating kami hanggang sa parking lot ng school agad naman siyang pumasok sa loob ng sasakyan nila kayat sinabihan ko muna si Kuya Joe na wag munang umalis at maguusap muna kami ni Sue.

"Sue, I'm sorry let me explain please"agad na tumulo ang luha ko, I felt so guilty ganito ba talaga pag nagmahal ka you'll forget everything and you care less to the people around you as long as masaya ka.

"What now Ela, I thought we were sister pero bakit ganito. You keep this to me, you freaking lied in my face." sigaw niya saakin.

"I'm sorry, hindi ko lang talaga alam kung paano ko sasabihin sayo, I know you won't support me on this. I want to be Happy Sue, I never been happy like this I want to keep this happiness till I'm high of it" sagot ko sakanya. It's all true maybe that's the reason why people became selfish because they are afraid of being hurt, they are afraid that there happiness might be taken away from them, and that's what I'm feeling right now I don't want my happiness to be taken away from me.

"And keeping this to me is your only solution, come on Ela wala ka bang tiwala saakin" singhal niya saakin. Wala nga ba akong tiwala sakanya questioning myself. No she's like a sister to me so why did I keep this to her. Maybe I'm afraid and selfish at the same time.

"I'm sorry ok natakot lang ako, I thought you will tell this to them, once na malaman mo, I know its a selfish decisions but I don't want to loose something that makes me happy" depensa ko sakanya. Her face turns lighter this time bago niya ako tuluyang hinarap.

"And who tell you that I will do that, ghad Ela your like a sister to me tingin mo gagawin ko sayo yun" aniya. I hug her and say sorry to her a couple of times hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko kapag hindi ako napatawad ni Sue, she's the only one I have ever since bukod kay Nanay Beth ay siya lang ang meron ako. Nabunutan ako ng tinik ng yakapin niya rin ako pabalik.

"You know I will never betray you kung san ka masaya dun ako. Pero sana alam mo kung anong consequence ng mga ginagawa mo" paalala niya saakin.

"I know please don't tell them" pagmamakaawa ko sakanya. She just smiled to me at pagkatapos nun ay yinakap niya ulit ako.

"Yes I promise, pero kailangan mo I kwento saakin ang lahat at pagkatapos nun ay kailangan mo siyang ipakilala saakin. Hindi pa rin ako boto sakanya para sayo" sagot niya saakin, I just smiled at her and nodded.

"So ano sleep over?" tanong ko sakanya. Tumango lang siya at tinawag na si kuya Joe at sinabing sa bahay muna siya matutulog.

There are some things that made us selfish its like our defense mechanism in our body we just do it without thinking any further, Just like how our body react to harmful bacterias. You do it to protect yourself from hurting to much and to keep the happiness that others might steal away from you. Pero at the end being selfish can only hurt you and also the people around you, because at the end you should always be real to them, you should always consider their feelings not just yours. Being selfish means being loneley and being lonely means sadness and sorrow and I no one wants to be lonely.