Waves Breaking Over Rocks Part 2

Chapter 19

Annie

I have no way of telling how many hours or weeks pass, I just know that the men who tortured Johanna and Peeta every day have come for me only thrice. I don't know why they don't torture me as often, but I can't say I'm not thankful.

However, each time is a bit easier, even if they keep adding chemicals and acids to my blood and even if they inject me with Tracker Jacker venom. I have taught myself to spot the shell necklace that I gave him before the Quell. He always wears it, no matter the client. And, besides, I'm used to not seeing true reality. I do so every time I go Away. Telling when something is fake to me is child's play.

My weakness makes me stronger.

And, every time they ask me: Who does Finnick Odair love? I always know, I always say: Me.

Johanna looks terrible. Between her constant electrocutions, her everyday beatings, and her already shaved head, she looks like a small animal, covered in bruises and cuts and blisters. But she's still Johanna. She won't give up. When the men ask her: Is there someone coming for you? She always says: Yes.

Peeta isn't doing any better. His visits are more frequent, but I don't think that's why he's starting to cave. He hasn't had the years of madness that allow me to see reality, and for all I know he doesn't think Katniss loves him very much. So Johanna and my sadness is tangible when one day he's asked: Who is Katniss Everdeen? He replies: She's a mutt.

After that, the men take him and he doesn't come back for what I think must be about a day. When he does, he looks much better, covered by layers of makeup.

A few long days later, after another torture session, my curiosity gets the best of me and I ask:

"Why aren't they coming for me every day, too?"

Johanna laughs at that, which makes me very confused. Was that funny?

"You seriously don't know, Annie?" She responds.

"Should we tell her?" Peeta half-whispers. Not so secretively.

"No! Of course not!" Johanna responds. "It would be too cruel." Cruel? Johanna thinks something is cruel? I start to worry. If there's something about me that makes Johanna have mercy, I should be terrified. "Besides, all she has to do is look in a mirror."

Look in a mirror?

"I still don't understand why the Capitol would care." Peeta says.

"Neither do I, but I suddenly wish I had a boyfriend, too." She jokes. I don't understand why that's funny, but Peeta seems to crack a small smile.

"Well, that was absolutely of no help whatsoever, guys. So thank you very much." I turn back around and lie down on the ground, my head swimming with questions. What could be so bad that it would be mercy to keep it hidden? Something I could see in the mirror? Something to do with Finnick?

The door to the hallway where our cells are opens and two men come in. That's strange, I think, only two men?

They walk past Johanna's cell and barely glance at Peeta's, and then I realize: they're coming for me.

I shrink back to a corner of the cell. Whatever those two want, it can't be good. They enter my cell and make their way towards me. I have nothing to defend myself with, and I have learnt what struggling will do, so I let them take me. I haven't stood up for a long time and it feels like my center of balance has shifted just a little, as if I had gained weight, or maybe it's just the fact that the last time I stood up had been weeks ago.