Waves Breaking Over Rocks Part 2

Chapter 20

Finnick

Don't fall apart. Annie will need you.

Annie's gone.

But she will come back.

It's your fault, just let go.

She needs you sane.

It's a constant debate in my head; whether I should give in to the fear and the sadness, whether I should let go. I hate to admit it, but letting go is very tempting.

I'm so concentrated on those thoughts that I barely hear the door open.

"Finnick, you need to come and see this." A District 13 resident tells me.

"I don't want to see it. I don't want to see anything." I tell her.

"President Coin didn't want you to see it either, but Mr. Heavensbee insists. It's Miss Cresta, sir. The Capitol sent them something from her." Miss Cresta. Annie. My Annie.

I stand up and basically run to the door.

"Take me there." I tell her, not caring anymore about staying calm.

"Right this way, sir." She leads me to a room, in which I see a big screen, Plutarch Heavensbee, and President Alma Coin.

"Where is she?" I ask, half-yelling. "Tell me!"

"She's trapped in the Capitol, as you know. They sent us this clip of her, with an exact message about who to show this to." Coin answers. Of course, it is easy for her to keep calm.

"And that is?"

"To our dearest Finnick Odair."

The recording starts playing and the first thing I see is Annie, huddled in a corner, covering her naked body. No, no, no, no... Why is she naked?

The door opens and a Capitol man comes in, dressed in nothing but a robe. Which he proceeds to remove.

And then Annie turns to the camera, her eyes big and afraid. I'm sorry, she mouths.

It's okay, love! It's not your fault! I'm coming! I say, without realizing it was out loud until Coin clears her throat. By that time I am inches from the image, reaching out to touch her. I feel a bit better in seeing that she's gained weight. I suppose they feed her well, for her stomach has grown, though not enough to be worried about at all. Other than that, she looks terrible. I can see through the heavy layers of makeup, which cannot conceal the bags under her eyes.

But then the life in her eyes vanishes, and I know she won't remember anything. It's only a slight relief, though, because my Annie is smart. She'll know what's happened as soon as she wakes up. She'll know what they've done to her.

I think she can feel it, even though she can't see or hear. I think she knows, far in her own world, she knows what's happening, and I pray that she doesn't realize it just yet. But I know I'm wrong because her eyes are full of tears even if they are empty of consciousness. Maybe they're subconscious tears, but my Annie is crying.

I look at the date on the screen. That was a week and a half ago.

The image fast-forwards for a few minutes until it changes into Annie again. She has bruises now, and I really don't want to think about the way she got them. Another man, not very different from the other one, comes in. Again, Annie's mind takes her away, but as soon as the man lays a hand on her, she starts crying.

It fast-forwards again, and again, and again, and I see her being raped every other day for that awful week and a half. And that's when I realize: they're not punishing her. They're punishing me.

All those times I spent telling myself to keep it together seem useless, now. They're doing to her what I worked restlessly to prevent, from the day she walked out of the Arena. They're doing to her what they did to me. They're making her feel what I feel.

I know, when she gets back- If she gets back- that she will hate herself. She will shower every day and wake up crying, and... She might not even want to touch me.

And in that moment, as I watch the man kiss her and touch her, I promise to her, and to myself, that I will fight. I will fight in this war. I will win the rebellion. Even if it's the last thing I ever do.

Four days later...

"Finnick! You need to be in Control 3 in 5 minutes! They've got news about the Victors!"

Up until then I had been in my room. Now, I'm running to Control, trying and failing to keep my hopes down.

I open the door too fast and it slams against the wall, making all the people already in the room turn and stare at me. I don't even care about the embarrassment, I just ask:

"Have you found them? Please tell me you found them." I look at Katniss, who is already in the room, her eyes bright for once.

"They've found them. They're sending out a rescue mission. They're going to bring them back." And then she smiles, and I realize I've never once seen her smile since we met. And instead of being mad at her for thinking her happiness can possibly compare to mine, I go over and I hug her. She unexpectedly hugs me back, then.

"The rescue team will be back this afternoon at the latest." Coin says, interrupting our hug, but I don't mind. This afternoon she will be in my arms again.