Shall We Dance

••21•• {Strong and Confident}

I put my phone down on the floor and I looked out the window. The sun was rising slowly, illuminating the sky and raising the outside temperature.

I stood up and looked into the mirror. I didn't see myself anymore. I saw a girl with matted brown hair and sleepy eyes. I saw mascara streaked down my face and lipstick smudged around my mouth.

I was a complete mess.

What did you do to me, Joshy?

I wiped off all of the old makeup and I brushed through my hair. I changed out of my bathrobe and into a tight black skirt and a wine-colored crop top before getting into my car. I put my nude heels on in the car and I slammed my foot down on the gas.

I didn't really have anywhere to go, I hair needed to drive. I needed to get away.

I put my window down and I stuck my hand out the window. I turned the radio up so loud that the bass vibrated the seat.

Savage, Jess.

I slipped on my aviators and I applied dark red lipstick while looking in the car mirror. 

I parked outside of Black Bean and then went inside to order a coffee. I stood in line and out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Josh. He sat alone while wearing his sunglasses and he was busily typing away on his phone.

I stepped out of line and I sat across from him. He pushed his sunglasses to the tip of his nose as he moved his focus to me.

"What are you doing?" He talked to me as if I was a stranger. He had a monotone pitch and a confused expression.

"We need to talk."

"No, we don't," he told me bluntly.

"I saw you with her last night."

"What?"

"I wanted to talk to you but this woman told me you weren't there. She told me to go away so I drove out behind your house and I watched you drive in. I saw you kiss her and then the drapes fell over the win-"

"You were WATCHING me? Do you understand that that's an invasion of privacy and I could have you arrested?"

"Like you would do that to me."

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Because we have a thing-"

"No we don't. I tried, Jess. I really did. But you kept rejecting me and it's just not worth my time anymore."

It hurt to know that he had moved on. It hurt so badly.

"I was going to tell you that I...I love you, Josh."

He ran his fingers through his hair. "I've moved on, Jess. Now you know how it feels to love someone you can't have."

"Bu- but..."

"I'm not going to lie to you, Jess. I had a good time with the girl you talked to. And you know what? I don't care for you anymore."

My eyes started to water. "You freaking did something to me, Josh and I hate you for it!"

His face was emotionless. "I have to go. My girlfriend is waiting for me." With that, he stood up and walked out the door, leaving me alone with damp eyes.

I stood up and walked back outside. I pulled my phone out and I called the only friend I had left.

"Emerald?"