27 Minutes (Larry Stylinson)

What use to be

Louis POV

Monday July 15th, 2013 7:30 p.m.

Hastily making my way to my car and keeping my head down isn't always that easy. Even when you think no one is looking they always are. Fans, photographers, just people in general see everything. It always amazes me how the fans see through even the most clever disguises. They've never been ones to be fooled yet we try to so often.

Looking around swiftly I don't see anyone who would catch me but that doesn't settle my worry. I make it to my car and lock myself inside before backing out of my driveway for the last time. I don't want to dwell on everything I'm leaving behind because I know I'll cave. But I don't want to cave this time. I'm tired of caving and giving in. Conforming into that stupid perfect image they expect of me. That's not me. It never has been and it never will be.

The roads are busy with traffic but not difficult to get through. Only taking a slight bit more time than I'd like. I hate time. It makes me think and thinking makes me hurt.

It's funny how everyone see's me as the fun loving and out going guy. Maybe I am that guy but he's hidden down beneath a bed of lies and deceit.

They all see me as the one who holds everyone together with the jokes and laughter. Yeah, I put on that façade but that's all it is. It's all fake and for our image. I haven't felt that happy in 2 years to be exact. It all died out the day they took everything away from me. It was also the day they gave me this fake bullshit life that I never asked for. But I guess they didn't care to see it that way.

I finally make it to my destination and look up to see the slightly run down hotel. Nothing to expensive but not exactly a rats hole either. Sighing I grab my bag and step out of the car, pushing my hair out of my eyes and make my way inside. A bored looking girl sits at the desk and looks up at me with no recognition on her face. "Room for 1?" She asks me as I nod in return.

"For how long?" She types something into her computer with out a second glance up at me.

"Just one night please." That's all I need, but she doesn't seem to notice anything. She asks me basic questions of my information before I pay her in cash and she hands me a key.

"You're on the second floor, have a good night." With that she walks away to file her papers and I walk to the elevator.

The room is dimly lit cold and small. It's perfect and makes me smile a little. I hang the "do not disturb" tag on the knob and shut the door making sure all locks are in place. I walk a little further and take a seat on the full sized bed and just look around. A lump forms in my throat as I knew it would when I look around this room. It looks exactly like the one we stayed in just a little over two years ago. Same color walls, same set up of the furniture, even the same bedspread I'm sitting on.

It might sound crazy but I can hear the echoes of our laughter tangled together just like our bodies. Our sweet musings and playful banter. Even our soft kisses shared that turned into passionate ones.

"Lou come back to bed." He whispered to me as I walked in with a bag full of his favorite breakfast food.

"No sleepy head it's time to eat now get up!" I laughed and sat the stuff on the table before turning to look at him. He never fell short of amazing me with how beautiful he is. Everyone always fell in love with is mess of curls on his head and brilliant green eyes. Some fell in love with that permanent smirk always set on his lips but not me. No I fell in love with his nose. His stupid adorable little nose. It makes me laugh at how stupid that sounds now but every time I could I'd always plant a soft kiss to the end of his nose. He would wrinkle it and bat away at me with a laugh but I never stopped.

"But I can think of much better things to do than eat." He says with that ever so insightful smirk.

"Well if you want to have the energy to continue that than you'll let me eat!" I laugh softly and he rolls his eyes and sighs.

"Fine!" He chuckles and lifts himself out of bed. "But I'm not getting dressed."

"I wouldn't want you to." I smile and fix us each a plate of food. He silently creeps up behind me and wraps his arms around waist and places his chin on my shoulder.

"Can we just say like this forever Lou?" He whispers in my ear causing me to look up at him.

"What do you mean?" I ask while trying not to get distracted by his fingers making soothing circles along my stomach and waist.

"This. Us." He smiles softly. "I never want this to end. What we have is something I never want to loose.. I love you to much for that to happen."

"I love you too.. This will never be lost."

If only I knew how empty of a promise that was.

Not on my end, but on his.

~~~~~~~~

I've let the room grow a bit colder as the night weighs in and I finally blink away the memories.

Every time I let my mind drift back to those times I end up feeling that ever growing hole in my heart even more. Black edges around it and taking up space I wish I could stop.

I stand up and grab my bag opening it up and spilling out the contents over my bed. I quickly change into the clothes I brought which happened to be borrowed and a little to big. But the smell just like him and that's what I needed right now. Him with me, even if it's only a little part.

I toss the bag and dirty clothes onto the floor and sit back down on the bed. The photo album sits closer to me so I pick it up and open to the first page not being able to help my smile. The photos that litter the page are a collection of family photos with my mum and sisters. The most important people in my life. I've never gone a day since I was placed into the band that I don't contact them in some way. Whether it be a simple text or a phone call I always make sure I do. I never want my family to forget their importance in my life. As the oldest sibling they all look up to me. It's not always easy and I fail at times but try to be the best example I can be.

My fingers lightly trace over the faces of my sisters, smiling at each of them and silently sending my love. And lastly looking at my mum and remembering everything she's done for me. Everything she's tried doing for me. She fought so hard for me, for us. My love grew for her even more in that moment even though it was for nothing in the end. She held my highest respect as not only the woman who brought me into the world but as the fighter who never stopped.

God, I would miss them all so much.