Hummingbird | Sequel to Butterfly [A Harry Styles Fanfiction] {Book 2}

Chapter 12: Path Of Least Resistance

Harry's POV:

As if I hadn't already spent enough time thinking about Cami over the last five months, this last week had been like a horrible movie, every moment I had ever spent with her played on repeat in my head. I never knew how hard it would be to stop thinking about her until I had found out that she may not have betrayed me like I thought she had. In my head, everything Niall had told me made perfect sense. Cami's reaction that night on the beach perfectly fit her M.O. and I wondered how I didn't realize sooner that she was just acting out of fear. I had dealt with that from her numerous times throughout our relationship and yet I couldn't see it on my own. I couldn't help but feel completely different towards her now and the fact that she was hours away in San Francisco only made this all the more difficult. I wanted to see her, I wanted to ask her what the f.uck had really happened that night and more than anything, I wanted her to know that if this was her trying to run away from us once again, I wasn't prepared to let that happen. It was so strange that just a month ago I would have practically said I hated her, but now, I knew that was all a lie. In reality, I missed her and I had spent the last five months missing her.

It had just dawned on me that I had spent more time missing her and desperately wanting to be with her than I actually had as her official boyfriend.

I knew that had to mean something.      

I often questioned if I should cut my losses and forget I had ever learned that Cami most likely didn't sleep with Liam. It would almost be easier to just pretend that she was the villain I made her out to be in the last five months, but after learning a small part of a bigger truth, I knew I couldn't just let this go. There was no way that I could spend almost a whole year completely absorbed with one girl, unable to rid my mind of her even when we had just met, to just forget about her after all we had been through together. Even though I knew that she and Liam had kissed like Scarlett had revealed to me all those months ago, I was finally willing to admit that it was my fault for letting her go after she refused to move in with me.  It was a stupid idea then and an even worse one when I thought back about it now. I knew it was too soon for her and yet I tried to push things just because I was envious at the way Charli and Caleb were moving forward. Even when she had said she wasn't ready, instead of respecting that and taking more time to build a stronger relationship, I  decided to ended things because my ego was bruised; a decision that sent my whole world into a tailspin.   

I only wished that I could go back in time and undo possibly the worst decision I had ever made, because after this week I knew if cheating wasn't enough to get me to forget about Cami, nothing she could do would ever stop my feelings from coming through. I almost wanted to forgive her when I thought she had actually cheated on me, but now I was sure that if it was just a drunken kiss, I was not willing to let her go for that.

I missed her, desperately and tremendously and I was no longer trying to pretend that this wasn't the case.

I needed to see her, to speak to her, but I didn't want to have such an important conversation through a phone. I wasn't sure how much longer I could go keeping my feelings in, but if it meant that we could somehow work it out, I was willing to wait as long as it took.

I knew she would most likely be coming home for Thanksgiving, which was only about a week away. I could handle one week, but first I needed to find out if she was actually coming home after the way I had treated her when she came back the first time.

The best way to find out was going to the closest connection to Cami in Newport, Caleb and Charli's house.

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I practically rehearsed what I would say that would give me my answer without letting on about why I was asking. I still wasn't sure if I was ready to tell either of them what my reasons were, so I had to be a little bit sneaky to get the information I needed. Telling either of them would only result in an excited bundle of pressure from them expecting me to get her back and get things back to they way they used to be. I wasn't sure if I could even do that yet and so, I knew keeping things to myself until I talked to Cami and got the truth was the path of least resistance. It was hard to keep them in the dark about all of this, but at first I couldn't even say it out loud and now, I was even more embarrassed since I felt that our breakup was more my fault than ever.  Cami and I needed to figure things out on our own before we let our best friends in on our relationship. At the back of my mind I worried that after all this time and because she had been seeing someone that she might not even want to be with me anymore. Our breakup was no longer up to me to undo. It was now Cami's turn to forgive me and I couldn't help but fear that she was over me when I was still hopelessly in love with her.