Hummingbird | Sequel to Butterfly [A Harry Styles Fanfiction] {Book 2}

Chapter 17: Torn

Cami's POV:

When the sun had finally begun to peek through the curtains, it felt like I had only just shut my eyes. After my humiliating display with Sean, we had both fallen asleep rather quickly, but to my disappointment it didn't stay that way. After I had heard one of the twins wake up once, I was unable to fall back asleep for the remainder of the night. I was too consumed by what had happened the night before to even ponder the idea of sleep. After everything with Harry in the last seven months, I never thought I would actually hear the words that left his mouth last night. I was so sure that after seeing me when the twins were born that he would never be able to stand the sight of me again. Yet, here I was a few weeks later, kept up at night at the sound of his voice replaying in my head.

"I loved you more than anything.  Hell, I still do after all of this!"  

It was like an overplayed song on the radio that I couldn't escape. All I could hear in my mind was his voice saying those words and I felt my resolve beginning to waver.

Before Sean, I wouldn't have even put up a fight and things would have turned out much differently than how they had played out. Even though I didn't feel the same about him, he at least showed me what a healthy relationship was supposed to look like. That only made rejecting Harry the slightest bit easier because I knew we both deserved something better than who we were when we were together.

It killed me to break free from his kiss and walk away from him, but I prayed that one day he would see that I was only ever trying to do what was best for him. I wanted to do right by us both, but I feared that staying in Newport much longer would have me back under Harry's spell within a couple of days.

The electricity I felt from our kiss was almost enough to convince me and if I had allowed him a few more seconds, I was almost sure that Sean would become obsolete. It was the most intense attraction and pull that I felt towards Harry that always seemed to keep me from fully moving on. Even though we had spent months apart without contact of any kind, the second I saw him again, it was like everything else fell away and I only wanted to be with him. Having spent months trying to make it work, I knew that it just never would and trying to move on with Sean was a step in the right direction to maintain the improvement I had made since I'd left Newport.

Even though Harry had nearly broke my heart last night with his confession, I knew that the sooner I got back to San Francisco, the better it would be for everyone. With that in mind, I silently slid out of bed, careful not to wake a still sleeping Sean. He stirred when my feet touched the floor, but thankfully he turned over without opening his eyes.  I thankfully managed to grab my toiletry bag and some clothes, closing the door on my way out without making much noise and took a much needed breath of relief when I stepped into the hallway.

Spending the night with Sean wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be, but I still couldn't wait to just have a minute alone to pull myself together after last nights festivities. I was practically silent as I crept into the bathroom and splashed a much needed handful of cold water on my face to keep me awake but, by the time I was done my morning rituals, I was almost tempted to come up with other things to do just so I didn't have to leave the safety of the small room. I didn't know if Harry was still passed out on the couch and I didn't want to wake Sean just yet, and so the prospect of staying locked in here sounded much more appealing, but I knew that was ridiculous. I gave myself the once over in the mirror and put on a brave face as I headed back into the hallway and down the stairs.

I could hear voices as I headed to the main floor, but I hoped none of them were Harry's. I was nowhere near ready to see him yet and speaking to him would be even worse. After all we had done last night, I thought it would be best if I just ignored him altogether if need be.