Smells Like Teen Spirit(kurt Cobain)

Drummer auditions

Well its been 6 days since Kurt kissed me. Im not a freak or anything but im good at keeping count with days.

So today are the drum auditions and im excited. I have 35 people in my list and probably 10 of them wont come. I decided to start them at 4pm cuz i dont want to run out of time and extend the auditions for two days.
Im heading to Krists now.

K: hi Crys
I havent seen this kiddo for over a week. He seems pretty down. And he just called me Crys?? Since when does he call me Krist? For all i know hes always called me twin, sis or baby but not by my nickname. Whats up with him?

Me: well hey twin! I missed ya
I went for a hug and he weakly hugged back. Well someones feeling bitchy today. I walked in.

K: the auditions are gonna be downstairs

Me: well duh. Where else would they be?
I chuckled. He just looked away. Krist is acting really unlike himself. That actually worries me. I love this guy with all my heart, i hope i didnt do anything that will ruin our friendship. When i come to think of it. I dont think ive done nothing at all that would piss him off this way. The only thing that has happened is the beautiful kiss between Kurt and i. Oh that kiss was so... Wait. Maybe that DID piss him off. Krist has been calling me babe and has been so cocky lately. I think hes crushing on me and Kurt probably told him about the kiss and now hes mad at Me, and probably Kurt too cuz hes the one who kissed ME. I really love Krist, with all my heart. But i think i love Kurt more. And i have a different love for Kurt. I love Krist as a brother, but i love Kurt as a soulmate, a lover.
Im really sad. Its obvious that the reason why Krist hates me now is because of that. I really dont want this kid to be heartbroken, cuz it really sucks. Im heartbroken all the time and i dont want my brother to feel the same way, not even near that feeling. Krist really cares about me and i know he would be an amazing boyfriend, but i dont want to be the one with him, i just dont feel it.

I put my hand on Krists shoulder and ask him whats wrong.

K: me? Theres nothing wrong

Me: Krist. Dont lie. You didnt even call me twin when i opened the door. You ALWAYS call me twin

K: i just forgot

Me: how can you forget? Its like forgetting my name

K: sorry Crys

Me: No! Dont call me Crys, Krist! Only Kurt can call me that! You are my twin! You said so! When we met. Remember? Why are you suddenly acting like this? What did i do wrong? And whatever i did wrong, im sorry. Im sorry for everything. But i dont wanna lose you as a friend(holds his hand desperately) call me your twin, call me your sister. But please dont hate me!

With this i fell on the floor all clutched up holding my head. I felt like pulling my hair off my head. I hate myself now. I feel Krist grab my waist and try to pull me up my feet again but i resist.

K: Cryssy??

He said kneeling next to me.

K: Baby im sorry. I really didnt mean to make you cry. I fucking hate myself for that now.

He grabs my hand and traces circles on it. Tears kept slipping down my cheeks. He wiped them away with his thumb. But they were too much.
He looked at me with guilt in his face.