Harry and Ariana find themselves going down different paths in life, but a quote unquote messenger of the greater good is sure that these two belong with each other at the end of the day. So, in a thrilling rift of events Harry and Ariana discover t...
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mature content.
~ Ariana ~
Tonight marked a new milestone in our relationship. I could sense Harry's apprehension with what we were both about to do, but I found myself more concerned about how he felt rather than how I felt. To be honest, for a while now I felt as if I was in a rather decent position; both emotionally and mentally.
Only very recently did I realize a slight change in Harry, and me being the curiously silent woman I am, kept afar while I speculated what could be troubling Harry. There were elements of him that were still the Harry I knew, but it appeared that the weight of his academics had taken a toll on him. Unlike our years in university, it seemed to deeply affect him straight into his core persona, and resonated there longer than it did before.
I'll give him another day or two to recover, but if I notice the change becoming malignant I knew I would need to confront him. I didn't want to over speculate, but he was beginning to show symptoms of something I myself am too familiar with, but managed to overcome– for the most part– and even I wouldn't wish the feeling on my worst enemy.
As I continued to rake my fingers through his hair, kissing the parts of his cheeks that I noticed were becoming a rose colour, the sensation appeared to lure him into a trance. My eyes searched his distant greens, curious to know what he was thinking. But he kept quiet, fluttering his eyes shut as his head tilted more towards my lips.
"I missed you so much. You have no idea." He murmured, nuzzling his nose into shoulder. Chuckling, he rubbed his nose along my collar bone. "If this is a dream, I never want to wake up." He sighed.
"Hey, I'm not even naked yet." I teased him before clearing my throat. "You seem tired." I said. "We don't have to do this tonight. We can just lie next to each other and talk if you'd like."
"No," He shook his head, "No, I'm fine to continue. I'm just... thinking. It's just," He peered into my eyes again with a small smile playing at his lips, "Never in a million years would I have believed that I would be able to hold you again."
I rolled my eyes, breathing deeply as Harry motioned for me to not speak. Holding his finger to my lips, he begged for me to listen to him. "No really." He frowned. "I keep thinking about what I did to you; to us."
"Harry."
"Please. Let me say this."
I decided it would be best not to argue with him. Harry seemed very insistent in being allowed to say what he needed to say. I was in no position to stop him, especially since it looked like he was struggling with piecing together the thoughts that were running amuck in his mind into coherent words. I waited for him, giving him a smile of comfort to reassure him that I was listening.
"I'm not sure if you already know this, but you're singlehandedly the only good I know. I'm not saying this as your ex-boyfriend or boyfriend or best friend, but as a person who is familiar with what this world is really like in all its beauty and horror, and knows that finding something good is nearly impossible nowadays. There's war, crime, diseases; you know, a lot of bad. I know I don't speak for everyone when I say this, but I'm very used to all the bad. It's become this sort of numbing pain that I can't escape, and whenever I think I do it's still there, just a sheet of the darkness it really is. I've always been in this void darkness where the ability for things to be worse was far more probable than for things to be better. Life never really worked in my favour, arguably for as long as I can remember. My expectations for myself and the world weren't anything good to say the least. I truly believed that the good life simply didn't exist, and was just a clouded delusion imposed to instil hope for something better. I didn't think anything good could possibly come of me, because not only did I live a bad life, but I was a bad excuse for a person. For that very reason, I will never understand how you can possibly love someone like me. Someone like you should be with someone like... you, you know what I mean?"
