blind. 2 | styles (hariana)

IV. I Talk Out Loud Like You're Still Around

~ Harry ~

Boston is a beautiful city. A perfect place for me to start over, though I never expected to have the life I was given here. I started to feel like my life was on pause-- like this wasn't really my life and my real life, the one I'm supposed to live, is-- somewhere possibly feeling the same way.

A man trying to get a medical degree after university to become a doctor doesn't sound like me. Then again, we don't ask for things like these-- they just happen.

That didn't change the fact that I felt out of place. I'm not prone to making many friends while I'm here, in fact I prefer to be alone. Until three months ago, I was handling Boston perfectly fine all by myself.

I met Sian through one of my professors. She was doing a research paper on Neurobiology and stopped by after class during a conversation I was having with my professor.

My professor recommended her to see some other professor in another department and I was stuck having to show her the way since that professor happened to be teaching my next class. We started to talk more and eventually became friends-- we hung out after classes, usually to have dinner with her friends at some shitty two star restaurant then go our separate ways.

In so many ways Sian and I were alike, which was why we got along well. We both had our dark pasts-- hers remains unknown, and same with mine expect for the obvious horrendous breakup that practically ruined my life. She's a smoker, and has a short temper-- I would say like myself.

Comparisons were bound to happen. Everything about Sian contrasted Ariana.

Sian always has chapped lips because of the weather, Ariana always had the softest lips ever.

Sian is very confident and intimidating, Ariana is outspoken but she has the sweetest soul.

Sian is tall, Ariana is short.

Sian has dark hair, Ariana has auburn.

Sian has blue eyes, Ariana has-- well.

The slightest difference always seemed huge to me. Like how I don't have to show Sian the way or where her mug of tea is or what's happening in the film we're watching.

I didn't have to lean down to kiss Sian either, and our hugs were awkward and our cuddling isn't comfortable-- I wasn't comfortable. It's like reading another book by the same author and realizing the other book wasn't called Number One on New York Times Best Seller List for no reason.

Like I said, my life feels like it's on pause and now I'm just waiting for it to play from where it left off-- Ariana and I, together, in love, happy.

For Sian's sake, I knew what I needed to do. I delay as much as I can because carrying one broken heart in your hands is trouble enough. I don't need to add another.

The next morning I was early for my first class, which surprised my professor more than it did myself. Last night I had kept my promise and had taken Sian out to the diner that opened across the street.

Of course the idiot I am had forgotten to mention the food was all vegan, so after one of her infamous tantrums we ended up eating at a McDonald's.

I didn't mind, but Sian was not having it. Our outing was cut short when I "had to call Marcel back about something important" which she thankfully didn't mind and actually insisted.

So I went home, crashed on my bed, slept for nine hours, then arrived at class the next morning early. You could say I'm cool.

"Good morning professor." I greeted professor Scott as I walked in that morning.