Fall From Grace

Shining Moon

Stevie was admitted into the hospital; the doctor told Karen and Christine that whatever happened to Stevie, her body shut down and caused her to become catatonic. The doctor gave her medication to help her sleep. He told them that there was a possibility that she would wake up and be back to normal, but also, there was a chance she may not.

Stevie slept the whole day and into the next. She woke up and immediately took in her surroundings.
She turned her head and saw Christine sitting right by Stevie's hospital bed reading a book.
As much as she tried to forget, everything came rushing back into her mind.
She began to sob.
Christine looked up and quickly closed the book she was reading and sat up straighter and took Stevie's hand into hers.
"Stevie, what's wrong love? You can tell me."
Stevie looked into Christine's eyes and whispered. "He broke me Chris."
"Who broke you?" Christine asked feeling tears slip through her eyes.
"Lindsey!" Stevie sobbed louder.
Christine stood up from her chair and sat on the bed bringing Stevie into a hug. She rocked Stevie back and forth as if she was a small child.
After sometime, Stevie finally told Christine everything that had happened.
Christine was livid. "You bastard Buckingham!" She muttered under her breath.
She wanted to hunt Lindsey down and hurt him like he had hurt Stevie.
"Stevie, why don't we take that trip we were supposed to take two days ago? We don't have to go to Hawaii, we can go somewhere else. We can just get away from everything and everyone."
Stevie nodded. "Yes, let's do that. And Hawaii sounds just fine." She said with no emotion in her voice.

The doctors checked Stevie over and released her the next day.

Karen and Christine had everything ready to leave to the airport.
Stevie was waiting in the car while Karen gave the house a once over making sure everything was locked. Karen checked the mail and noticed an envelope that looked like an invitation. She opened it as Christine looked over her shoulder.
It was an invitation to Lindsey's wedding.
"Oh for fucks sake! I'm tossing this in the trash. I'm not going to risk her seeing this!" Christine said reaching for the invitation; she tore it to pieces and throw it in the trash.
And with that, they were on their way.

Stevie was really quiet on the flight to Hawaii, she was not saying much. Christine tried to get her to talk but it was no use. She just slept most of the flight.

Hours later they were finally walking into the rental home by the beach. Karen brought in Stevie's things into the room Stevie would be staying in.

As they were getting settled, Stevie didn't even bother unpacking. She just climbed into bed and fell asleep.

An hour later, Christine knocked on the door.
There was no answer.
Christine opened the door and peaked in. Stevie was still in bed.

Christine went in and walked up to the bed. Putting her hand in Stevie's shoulder and gently shook her.
"Stevie? It's time for dinner."
"I'm not hungry." Stevie whispered.
"Stevie, you need to eat. You haven't eaten anything in all day." Christine said.
"I'm...just not hungry." Stevie said her voice trembling.
Christine went around the bed and laid beside Stevie facing her. She reached for Stevie's hand and held it. "Come on Stevie. Don't let him make you this way. What he did to you was horrible and unforgivable! But that does not mean you have to shut down. Where is the Stevie I saw a few days ago? The one who beat that god awful addition, the one who owned that stage during filming? Where is that Stevie that I saw laughing and smiling all night?"
Stevie was sobbing now, tears rolling down her cheeks. She moved closer to Christine and buried her face on her shoulder.
"I was an idiot Chris! When we...had sex, I really thought it was a second chance for us; a new beginning. I slept with him because I still love him with all my heart! I thought he still loved me! But all he wanted was one last one night stand!!!" Stevie continued to sob,
her whole body trembling. "I...feel...I feel...dirty...filthy! He used me! That's what it feels like!"
Tears fell from Christine's eyes. She didn't know how to comfort Stevie. So, she just held her until Stevie fell back to sleep.

A week went by and Stevie was just going through the motions.
She ate, but very little. She spoke only when spoken to.
She would lay in bed for hours or she would write in her journal.

One night, Christine and Karen were fast asleep.
It was three in the morning and Stevie was up as usual; she just stared out the window.
She got out of bed and walked to the sliding door of her bedroom and walked outside.
She made her way to the beach.
Her feet met sand and continued down to the ocean.
She breathed in and smelled the fresh ocean air, the wind blew around her; her hair blowing in the wind.
Stevie continued to walk until she was at the edge of the ocean. She felt the water underneath her feet. She closed her eyes and continued to go deeper.
She was waist high now but didn't go further. She looked up at the moon which was full and shining bright. She smiled a little.
She then looked straight ahead and plunged herself into the water. She stayed under for a bit until she needed air.
She shot out of the water taking a breath.
She breathed in and out as her lungs filled with air. She turned around and walked back to the beach.
Once out of the water she walked a little away from the ocean and then laid down on the sand.
She didn't care that she was now covered in sand.
The moon shone down on her; she closed her eyes and listened to nature that was all around her.
Stevie began to feel different now.
That dip into the ocean water and the moon shining down on her was like Stevie was being cleansed.
Her heart that felt so heavy before, now felt light.
The negative thoughts that ran through her mind since she slammed the door in Lindsey's face were no longer there.

Stevie opened her eyes and a big smile spread across her face.
She wasn't going to let Lindsey control her emotions like that ever again.
She vowed to never open up her heart to him. He was getting married soon, so she knew he was no longer hers; she lost him years ago.
She would move on and focus on her career; she would give up on love and even though she wanted children, she decided she would give up that chance as well.
She was 49 years old now, almost 50; she was too old now she thought to herself. Soon she would go through what many women go through once they hit a certain age and would not be able to have children anymore.
Her shot at having a child would be gone.

She sat up and continued to stare up at the moon.
A thought crossed her mind. "Maybe, I could adopt!"
Her heart swelled at the thought of adopting.
She smiled once more, stood up and walked back inside the house.