Big Secrets, Little Time

Chapter Twenty One

-Brad POV-

I'd never had a best friend other then Kingsley.

I was 3 when she was born and I instantly fell in love with her.

Her first word was literally Brad because she was around me more than anyone else.

Losing her was like being shot.

I'd never lost someone so close to my heart.

Yah my parents don't live near me anymore but they aren't dead.

I don't cry either I hate crying, it makes me feel weak like I have no control over myself but for the past week now I've been crying with either Aunt D or Jenn and I can't seem to stop even when I'm by myself.

At the funeral there wasn't a person there who wasn't crying and that includes RT.

I'm pretty sure he balled the hardest.

It was one of those outside funerals where everyone stands as the priest talks. Well RT was down on his knees crying his eyes out with his mom holding him and crying with him.

Afterwards I couldn't even talk to him because we both started crying.

Honestly I liked the guy a lot. He was probably the best thing that ever happened to Queen but I couldn't see him without thinking of her.

Then I laid on my bed and starred at the ceiling thinking about her.

I know she would have yelled at me for laying on my bed and feeling sorry for myself but I couldn't seem to grow a pair and get off my ass.

I took out all the pictures I had of her and I and hung them around the house because without her it's not the same so I needed a reminder of her and that's all I could think of.

"If you are here with me Queen I just want you to know that I love you so much and I miss you and I'm sorry that you were taken when you are honestly one of the best people in the world and you didn't deserve this."

Finally I closed my eyes and cried myself to sleep.

•••••••••••

-Jennifer POV-

You know that feeling you get when you get hit in the gut my a soccer ball when it's kicked and you weren't paying attention, or a punch or a ball hit at you in baseball or softball but you miss it and it hits you hard.

Yah well that's how I'd been feeling for the past week and no not just by one of those things but by all three combined.

I'd been crying so much I couldn't breath. My mom had tried to make me feel better but it didn't help.

The only time I felt remotely better was when I was with Brad and we cried together.

"She was the only person who listened to my every word till I was finished." I said.

"How can God or whoever is up there if there is anyone just take her from me?" I asked looking up at the sky and crying while Brad held me and also cried.

"I'll be that person now baby." He said reassuringly.

"I know but it's not the same, you're the love of my life but even you can't replace that special place where your best friend in the whole world is in my heart." I said.

That was the last real conversation I had with someone and ever since then I'd cried and not been able to stop unless I was asleep.

There was one night about two days ago and it was the worst night.

The paparazzi had just found out about Kingsley's death and I was watching tv to see what they'd say and on the tv was first a video of Kingsley and RT kissing good bye, then a video of there wedding where she collapsed and finally a video of RT.

It must have been just that week because the video was of him in a park running from the paparazzi because he was crying and didn't want them to see. But then he tripped and just gave up and broke down there.

I cried so hard I couldn't breath and my mom sprinted into the room because I was choking.

She had to hit my back and then she hugged me and kissed me and told me everything was going to be.

But I wasn't sure I would ever be okay again.

•••••••••••

-Mrs. Brooks POV-

Maybe some of you parents have been through losing a child and to all of you I deeply apologize because it feels like someone stabbed you twisted the knife and then pulled it out.

Probably to graphic and I'm sorry but that's what it felt like and the pain hasn't gone away since she left.

RT, his mom, Brad and Jennifer had all been by the house to apologize or just cry with me.

I don't know RT very well, all I knew was that he was the best thing that ever happened to my daughter but when he came over by himself I felt as if he was my son.

I held him so tight and cried with him.

He ended up sleeping in her room that night with her clothes spread out on the bed because he said it smelt so much like her.

In my room I brought the detergent I use for the clothes and I washed the carpet with it so my whole room smelt like her.

I've cried myself to sleep every night asking myself why of all people would my beautiful, amazing angel be taken from me.

•••••••••••

-RT POV-

Girls and guys if you ever find the one don't let go ever!

Hold on until you absolutely can't have them anymore and that may not even feel like enough but make sure they know you love them and make sure you never hurt them.

Kingsley, well she was, she was something alright.

If I hadn't met her I'd never have known what real love was and I'd never have known what real heartbreak was.

I'm in so much pain that I've slept in her bed just to smell her, taken some of her clothes from her house, I broke down in front of paparazzi and I even cried with her mother.

At the funeral I couldn't get my legs to work. They felt like jello so I just sat down and cried.

My mom tried to make me feel better by getting down with me and whispering to me but eventually she just broke down with me.

My mom and Kingsley didn't know each other very well but that didn't matter because my mom loved her like she was her own.

All I wish is that I could have had children with Kingsley and grown old with her but the universe has other plans for my beautiful girl and I may not be okay with that right now but I'm gonna try and push through so I make it just for her.