Dear Daughter | ✔

आँठ

Dear Daughter,
It is easy to admire a person, but to truly love them is a herculean task. You see more often than not, beauty is shielded with a veil of distance. The farther the thing is, the more beautiful it seems; but have you ever tried loving the devil hidden inside?

It was the same with your mother and I. Initially we were having our fairy tale times and we thought of each other as perfect; but as our story progressed we got acquainted with each other's monsters.

I couldn't bear her being so bossy all the time. Sometimes she was way too straightforward, and other times she was a master of the silent treatment. She was so confused about how she felt, and that confused me about how she felt about me.

She too probably had quite a few problems with me being an introvert, me being busy with my own work, and me being so secretive about my feelings; but that was what made me.

We once had a major fight because of our differences, and all angry words were thrown around. We did not speak to each other for a week, the longest for us; but soon we realised that our days went slower without each other. We were honestly bored without each other.

I got annoyed with every small thing. I became an angrier person, and refused to agree with anyone. I hated, absolutely hated, everything in the world. I cursed like a sailor, and constantly had a tired face.

Your mother wasn't helping. She seemed quite fine. She used to hang out with her friends, laugh out loud, and didn't even make it seem like she was having a fight with her boyfriend; but of course, she did not sit with me during classes. That fuelled some rumours.

Finally one day, your mother gulped down her ego and spoke to me at college. I cannot tell you how happy I was when she told me that she loved me, and how she missed me, for I did too. It was then, that I noticed the dark circles, and the low light in her eyes. She was tired, probably of fighting off her own demons.

In that period of silence, I realised just how much your mother meant to me too. She was the most important person in my life. She was not a fling, for sure, she was way more than that. She was my heart, my soul, and my world; but sadly now she is just my once upon a time.

Always and Forever,
Your Father.
June 4, 1999.