Worth Fighting For - A Beau Brooks Love Story

Chapter 20

I'm rewriting this story:) it will be posted in a few days

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I had to tell Beau, this wasnt fair. Especially as I wasnt even accepting treatment, either I tell him or he'd have to find me dead. People wouldn't understand my reasons for not taking the help offered, well I'm a strong believer that everything happens for a reason. I sighed how would I do it? I knew it would have to be face to face, but it would crush him, I wouldnt be able to bare seeing his face fall empty and expressionless. I couldnt try and shake off what I had anymore. I have it, the c word. C a n c e r.

I quietly walked back into the hotel, and sneaked into the room, making sure that Beau wouldnt hear and come to greet me. I went into the bathroom and splashed water on to my face to calm me down. I put one hand on either side of the sink and took in a deep breath. "You can do this Zoey, you need to do this." I muttered to myself. I shakily dried my face with the towel before looking at myself one more time and going into the bedroom. Beau was lying on the bed, watching tv.

"Oh hey babe, didnt hear you come in." He said, a big smile grew on his face as he patted the bed next to him. I observed his happy face, he seemed genuinely happy, like he had no worries on his mind, and thats what crushed me the most. I would be changing everything.

"Are you ok?" Beau asked seeing the expression on my face.

"Well actually Beau- I'm really not." I said, my voice quivered as i gulped, tears built up in my eyes, i couldnt even look at him.

"Is it because of Cara? because I know she has a little crush on me but i can tell her to stop!" Beau said desperately, hoping that would be why I was upset, I think he could tell it was a little more serious and I know he didnt want it to be.

"I wish it was as simple as that." I told truthfully whilst looking at my hands.

"What is it Zoey? Has someone upset you because you know i'd do anything to make you happy just say the word and i'll-"

"I have cancer Beau." I interrupted, my voice cracked as I said it. It seemed as though time stopped in that very moment. Everything was completely silent, I felt absolutely nothing, nothing but numbness.

"No you dont." Beau said without any expression in his voice, like a robot.

"Beau I-" I said shakily, tears beginning to stream down my pale cheeks.

"No. You. Fucking. Dont." He said again, his voice cracked, he was shouting angrily but also crying at the same time. "Tell me this is a joke, go on DO IT!" He screamed, making me shudder. He held on to my hands tightly, he searched with his eyes around my face for some kind of evidence that this was a lie. More tears fell down his face.

"Please baby, tell me this isnt true." He whispered as he pulled my face towards him so we finally were looking in the eyes. I sat back, avoiding his stare, emotionless.

"Beau please I cant.. I'm so sorry." I said not daring to look at him.

Beau stood up and paced up and down the hotel room floor, my eyes followed him around the room. He was scratching the back of his neck, it hadn't sunk in. He stopped walking and looked at the ground before letting out a loud scream and punching the tv, an excruciatingly loud smash echoed around the quiet hotel room, causing me to let out a loud weep. 

"Beau stop!" I said desperately. 

Beau took in a deep breath attempting to calm down, he failed, he let out another shout before punching the tv screen again which was now shards of glass, resulting in Beau cutting his knuckles pretty badly.

"Beau stop please!" I cried hysterically as I curled up into a ball on the bed. I couldnt have imagined a worse reaction.

He ignored me and ran his fingers through his hair before tugging at it and shouting 'fuck' at the top of his voice. It was then that he turned to me, and looked at me, for the first time since he had heard the news and begged that it was wrong.

"Why, why you, why us? we dont deserve this." He whispered. 

His face went pale as he leant against the wall, he slid down it until he was sitting down and was curled up into a ball. Rocking backward and forward. I looked at the state he was in, this was all my fault. I should have just run away, never come back, that would have been better than seeing him like this. I then realised the seriousness of the situation. I rushed to the bathroom and grabbed a flannel, soaking it in water and then ran back to Beau. I sat down next to him and picked out the prickles of glass that remained in his knuckles. He cringed and winced at every piece of glass I took out. Once I had got every piece out I put the flannel over his knuckle and pushed on it.

We had been in a scarily quiet atmosphere for a long time, but I knew I had done the right thing of telling him even if it ended this way.

"Beau you need stitches, Im going to call-" I said quietly.

"Please, just say it was all a joke." Beau said, swallowing inbetween every few words, he had been crying so much he could barely talk.

"Beau seriously we need to call-" I said calmly.

"I dont fucking care!" He snapped making me jump, his loud voice created silence in the room again. His anger was scaring me now.

I rested my head on his shoulder, I felt his whole body shake slightly as he continued to cry quietly. 

"Pl- please tell me everything is going to be alright." He said through tears. "I wont be able to live without you." He said crying even more.

He put his arms around me and cuddled me close to him, as if he would never let me go.

"I love you so much Beau, and I will until the day I die." I whispered in his ear.

"I love you too Zoey, more than you will ever know." He said and kissed my forehead.

We fell asleep in each others arms, I wished we could stay like that forever.