Set me free

Questioning faith

I can hear the birds chirp when I lay down by my window.
Some sound so beautiful; like they just want to share their beauty with the world.
Some sound painful. Like they are hurting and crying is the only way to seek help.
Some sound at ease. So peaceful; as if they're without a care or worry in the world.
I'm not a very religious person. I once was when I was little. I was in my churches choir. When bad things started happening to me I blamed God and thought he couldn't possibly exist if he let those things happen. But a part of me had to still have some belief left in my heart. When I listen to those birds I think about how I feel with each emotion I feel they are showing. I start to compare the birds to human beings. Is that what each of us with all our emotions sound like to God, if he even does exist? Sometimes I get frustrated when I hear the painful sounds. Like why won't one of their bird friends help? I can't but I still get sad. Maybe God can't help. I think about the painful birds and maybe they're just in need of something. Food, water, a friend. I want to be there for them. But because I'm not a bird all I can do is try to guide them in the right way.
Is that what God does? He can't help so he tries to guide and sometimes bad things are inevitable. They can't be avoided. But maybe he can help us heal. Help us stay strong. Maybe I've misunderstood what position God has. Then again, I still don't really understand...
Maybe I never will.