Aspira: Buku Catatan Dahaga

THE DROWNING

- October 15th, 2015.

I realize that my grip into the night has grown so much weaker, so much faster than I anticipated. My hands are growing weary. I'm growing weary. But the old bells of the abandoned churches are ringing like the commands my mother used to smother me with. So when I sink down deeper, much deeper into the levels of collective unconscious that I never knew existed, I suddenly realize one thing: I don't belong here.

This stream of consciousness narrates all truth that I can churn up from the bottom of my heart as it oscillated. My final thoughts are waving their goodbyes. I'm waving my goodbyes. But the singing of the choir of banshees are keeping me locked in place like the promises my teachers used to bribe me with. So when I open my eyes wider, much wider to the welcoming light that finally found its place, I suddenly realize one thing: I saw you there.

There you were, standing in all your glory, awaiting the final touches of the darkness that will complete your existence. You were one leap away from being fully clothed. You were one step away from being liberated.

I can feel your mind radiating powerful pulses of weak vibrations, sending shivers down my spine. My essence is dying with me. I hunger for you. I need to ravish you, scale every inch of you. I want to climb your mountains and explore your valleys. I want to swim your oceans and solve your mazes. I want to map your jungles and survive your savannahs. Has your mind found its path?

And if it has not, can I – and will I ever – have the honor of swimming away from this place, closer to the light, surround you with my darkness so you can shine? And if it has not, can I – and will I ever – have the honor of stripping away all my burdens behind, just to reach you, inch closer to you...and share with you everything I've found?

Can I have the honor of being the one to answer your questions in a huge game of cat and mouse? Can I have the honor of understanding the fiery blaze of sparkling truth in your eyes?

Can I have the honor of peeking into the divine existence you happen to own that you call your mind?

Can I, of all my humble stumbling steps...finally have the honor of calling you mine?

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