Donovan

22. Again

      I woke up with the blanket draping around the lower part of my back as it lied bare, my chest planted down onto the bed. I could feel the ache in my muscles as I tried sitting up.

    "Donovan?" I said his name in a lower voice before opening my eyes fully to see him gone. It was eight in the morning and he was already out of bed and somewhere other than beside me. I walked down the stairs after my shower and quickly slipping into a silky robe as I prepared breakfast. Donovan was gone again without any explanation.

     Water dripped down my robe as my hair was still quite wet from my shower. I couldn't help but worry again about the three of them just out there with eyes all over them. Sure, people were scared of them but I still worried. I slipped on an old tee shirt of Donovan's and jean shorts before wearing old converses and tying my hair up in a ponytail as I wandered in their living room. As my phone rang, I picked it up in relief to see Donovan calling.

     "Donovan," I sighed.

     "Em, your ticket back home is under the placemat in the kitchen. Your plane leaves at noon so pack-"

    "Wait, where are-"

    "Hurry. You need to leave soon or else you'll miss the-"

     "What the hell?" I hissed. The line went silent.

    "Was last night another goodbye? Donovan..." My voice trailed off. I honestly didn't know what to say but I was hurt.

    "Marco's whereabouts are unknown and we can't find him. I keep telling myself to just leave you the hell alone so you could have a normal life without the shit that I keep bringing to us. He's still after us, Em."

    "We're good together though. You and me. Always yours, remember?" I muttered the words as a lump formed in my throat.

    "So you're leaving me again?" My voice broke midway but I kept the sob that was threatening me. I just wanted him to stay. How did we go from high school lovers to running away just so we could stay together? I would go months without seeing him again just for him to leave all over again which left me as I have always been. Alone.

   "Can I ask you something?" Tears began to spill but I wiped them quickly as if he could see me.

    "Yes," he hesitated to say.

     "Do you still want me?" I whispered the words. I swear I heard him suck in a breath indicating the hurt behind my question.

    "I will never not want you. You know that," he said to me in a softer voice. I was still hurt. I feel like I am slowly drifting from him. So how the hell am I suppose to believe him when he tells me that? Sure, we shared a night full of passion last night but we were more like strangers now.

     "Then how come when ever we move two steps forward, you take a step back?" The both of us didn't say a word for what seemed like forever and the silence was invasive.

     "I am trying to distance myself, Emery. Just in case-" He couldn't be serious, could be? My face burned as my temper flew.

     "We have gone over this for a fucking million times already! I want you with me, okay? We are in this together and I need you, you careless son of a bitch. I need you! I am alone here, Donovan. It feels like I am by myself all over again and I have no one but you. You are the only family I know," I cried.

    "Emery," he whispered my name in a pained sound.

     "Donovan. We had this one chance to stay together but if you keep running from me..." I forced the words to come out of my mouth.

     "Don't come finding me again," I told him.

     "I love you, Emery." No. No! He was saying goodbye. He can't.

     "So this is it? After all the things we have fought for, this is your goodbye? One night together is all you're leaving me besides the memories?" My eyes suddenly trailed to the open door which brought up my curiosity. What the hell? I walked up the stairs and when I finally reached the top, I closed it. I swear it wasn't open before.

    "Emery. I can't keep-" A scream muffled out of me when I felt an arm wrap around me with such force that had air rushing out of me suddenly.

    "Emery!" I heard him scream from my phone. And with that, the smell of alcohol filled my nose before I knocked out cold. Donovan's name on the tip of my tongue.