Wild Secrets

7 - LOST INFORMATION

"Shantel" he said once again. He's words are melting my heart. I suddenly miss him. I forced myself not to look at him and walking but I failed. He grabbed my arm so I could face him. His blue gaze is just more melting than his words. I just wish he's not staring. I have so many questions but I can't find my voice. I have no guts after the painful scenery awhile ago.

"I'm sorry" I was disappointed because after all what he said to me, that's the only word I heard from him. I felt sadder and sadder as I continued looking to his eyes. I decided to look down to avoid his melting stare.

"Why didn't you tell me? After all the confessions you made, all I see was this? Is this some kind of a tv show? I hope it is" I finally found words to say.

"I wanted to tell you but-"

"But what? I'm your friend, don't let me be the last to know" I said and turned around. I don't want this to last any longer.

"Listen to me, please" He said. I stopped walking.

"Speak" I said, still not looking at him.

"I like you from the moment I met you. We got closer and closer each day so as my feelings for you. I didn't expect you getting close to Bea which made it harder for me. I tried to stay away after my confession because I'm attached to Bea-"

"So what am I? A sub?" I cut him.

"No, you are not. I know I shouldn't be loving you but I can't stop myself from doing so"

"Enough" I said and started walking away again. Are you going to just walk and pretend like nothing happened? Or go back and listen to every painful words he says? I thought.

I suddenly felt his hand on my arm.

"Do you like me? Please answer me" Instead of forcing me to look at him, I let myself face him. Do I like him? Of course not! I don't know! If I don't like him, I shouldn't be feeling so broken hearted. Raphael's the first guy whom I ever trusted, my first best friend, my first love in my new life and most of all, my first heart break.

"After all of these? I'll never be able to" I said and turned away. I ignored everything and decided to do what I have to, to get my things and leave. I'm having these thoughts that I shouldn't continue this DANY after all the things that have happened but I will be over acting if I did.

I like him and he likes me back but that won't change anything, why? Because it's wrong, he's already attached and I'm just the second lady. I shouldn't be messing up with their happy lives. Even though we like each other, we're still the bad people in the story. We're lying to everyone. I didn't want our friendship to be over but now, I don't expect for us to be the same anymore. This pain is too much so I don't expect to return what was lost between us. We're best friends. We're only best friends.

It's been weeks since the fight between me and Raphael. We haven't talk each other for a long time and it's not easy. Talking him every day is already a part of my daily life.

I'm already attending DANY every wednesday, friday night and also saturdays. I made friends and also Carl was there. Raphael and I are avoiding each other. He's always with his friends and especially Bea and i'm in the other side of the academy. It's not easy being in DANY because i'm a newbie and Raphael's there so I skipped classes most of the times which gets me into serious troubles with the director. I know i'm acting weird lately but i'm not ready to face everything yet. It's just so painful.

Zac and my friends on the other hand kept protecting me from Monica. I really didn't understand why Monica hates me. I also learned that the girl from the studio last time is Kelsey. She's not so popular as Monica. I tried asking Kelsey but she just avoids me like it never happened.