Behind The Masks Of Blood ;hes;

Chapter 40

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[Bella] :                       

                                   My hand was covering my mouth to swallow back any sob about to escape. Tears eloped out my eyes and walked down my smooth skin to damp it. My heart felt like it was going to burst out, beating very, so loudly.

                                   “—On 6th of july, 2011, My mother was out in a business trip to London. My sister Gemma was on her room, studying her brains out. I was seventeen at that time, The same careless Harry. I invited my friends over to my house, they were two. Julian, and gorge. I was not aware of what was happening that time. We got drunk, but I was stupid enough to not realize that they were actually taking revenge. They put drugs on my cup —”

                                   I rubbed my eyes to take off the blurriness of my tears that fogged my vision. It was difficult to understand what he was going through. It was such a tough and reckless phase for him.

                                   “—I was numb, completely. The only thing I could move was my eyes. They dragged me upstairs and took me to my sister's room. My eyes widen in fear as I hear Gorge whisper that he is going to give me quite a show. I was terrified Bella. It was the first time in two years I feel something such as that. Even though I was heedless and careless about anything, deep down I did not want what was going on my head to display infront of me and with my sister. They knocked at her door and I felt like my soul was being sucked out of my body as I try to scream 'Do not open Gemma.'  I swear I tried and tried to scream it, even to whisper it but I could not move my tongue, like it was bent down —”

                                   The fear of reading what was coming next was building slowly in my stomach as it clenched painfully. I bit the side of my lip as I move my eyes to the next words.

                                   “Unluckily she opened the door just to scream as she sees them dragging me inside her room. I watched it, I watched them taking revenge on my virgin sister. Gorge rapped her as julian filmed the whole thing. Simply as I looked at her screaming on the bed and they aggressively did it to her. But I could not do anything to help my crying sister as she looked at me begging for some kind of escape. It hurts when you can not help or redeem what you have done so you watch people taking revenges on the most awful ways possible. After this day she locked herself in her bedroom, crying her eyes out. Writting incomprehensible stuff and gluing them to the wall. Weeks later she stopped talking to us. She was depressed. She failed her classes and got suspended from her work. She was miserable. I could not bear seeing her hurting this way while I was the reason so on monday, 7th augest. I held two guns deciding on doing my mistake that I will not regret. I went straight to his home, sneaked into his house as I see his girlfriend. That night I was out of my mind, I raped her and killed him —”

                                   I gasped as my eyes widen. All his mistakes were acceptable but this ? I have always hated rape and rapists, how am I going to look at Harry now ? But I only felt empathy for him. I did not feel abit of disgust, not at all.

                                   “—You probably think of how disgusting and immature I was, and still. But I swear to god I regret every little thing I have done, I am no good for anyone, not for my mum, not for my sister neither for you. But I can not redeem what I have already done. After those crimes I was wanted for the police so I decided it is for the best to travel all the way to London, might as well hide from the police and lights. And London was the furthest from Los Angeles. I bought a house here on London, wanting to finally settle down after what I have done back on Los Angeles but then I started going to clubs and had another bunch of friends, I started having so much sex, that I can barely sit without fucking someone, whoever it was. I became a sex addict, and I was ashamed somehow from myself. . . I never wanted to go this far in my life, I felt like sex has restricted my movements, and everytime I see a girl I would immediately want to fuck her. . . Like it was my hobby at that time. I spent two years shamelessly fucking and messing with girls around until I was known as the player and called with so many other names I would not want you to hear it. . . I did not care for what they said, I only wanted girls to get obsessed with me and then see them break down when I tell them I was not planning on anything but their bodies. . . I was heartless and totally careless about this fact —”